Chapter 4

Clattering in the kitchen wakes me up. Where am i? Sticking to the leather sofa i nervously sit up looking around the room. I must of fallen asleep at Gary's. "Morning sleeping beauty!" Howard waves at me from the sofa opposite me eating a slice of toast.
"M...Morning." I smile whilst rubbing my eyes. Wonder if any of the others saw me and Gary sleeping together cosy on the sofa? "Where's the others?"
"In the kitchen eating... do you have a good sleep?" His face drops a little into a more serious look. What if he saw me kiss Gary last night? I'm a middle aged man who's acting like a teenager for god's sake.
"Erm...n...not so good... don't feel well..." Stumbling to my feet i go to the hallway slipping my shoes back on and securing my coat under my arm before opening the front door.
"Rob?" A voice calls behind me just as i set foot outside. Tilting my head over my left shoulder i see Gary walking down the hall carrying a mug. "Where are you going?" He asks raising his eyebrow sipping from his coffee mug.
"I...er... don't feel well... thank you for last night... i'll text you tomorrow?" I continue to walk down his path feeling my heart race again the flutters have come back just by seeing him.
"Rob wait... i need to talk to you." Gary fixes his eyes onto mine making me even more nervous. He hates me doesn't he?
"G...Gar...Gary... i... i've got to go.....sorry." Not sticking around any longer i quickly leave his house.
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Once i've changed into something more comfortable just a pair of jogging bottoms and vest i order a take away. Tonight i don't feel like cooking or going out i need time to get my head together before going back in the studio with the boys.

Feeling more relaxed i switch the tv on resting my feet on my cluttered coffee table. "Fuck all on again." I mutter under my breath. For a minute or two i lay my head backwards against the sofa. What has happened in the past 24hours? I kissed Gary Barlow. On the lips. And now i can't stop thinking about him. He makes me happy i've never been like this before. Sure i've been in love with past girlfriends, but Gary... he's someone different he makes me feel young again since when have i had butterflies before? I've never experienced them not even when i'm about to go on stage. Obviously he's not going to think the same back he was drunk and wouldn't even remember the kiss anyway, so i just need to stop over thinking this.

A knock on the door stops me from my daydream. Finally it's dinner time. Walking to the door i feel for my wallet in my jogger's pocket. "Where's that gone?" I mumble whilst opening the door. "One sec mate i turn around looking for my wallet."
"Looking for this?" Hearing the voice causes me to look up. My jaw drops a little am i dreaming?! Gary smiles holding out my brown leather wallet in front of me.
"G....Gary?" Blinking my eyes a few times i look at him not believing this is all real. He hands me my wallet resting his thumbs in his trouser pockets.
"Found it on the sofa, so i thought i'd come and drop it off for you... can i come in?" Quickly i put my wallet back into my pocket closing the door a little. He can't see the state of this place!
"Erm... it's not decent... er..." My palms become a little sweaty partly from him being here. How did he even know where i live?

Gary shakes his head laughing a little. "Like i mind. I've lived with you before and the others i just want to talk to you that's all." His charming smile wins me over. How can i turn him away? Taking a few steps backwards i let him in breathing in a deep breath once he steps inside. Suddenly his face drops into a more worried look as he looks around the flat.
"How long have you lived here for Rob?" Stepping over piles of clothes he makes his way over to the sofa moving a few things, so he can sit down. Biting my tongue a little i close the door walking over to the kitchen area.
"Only a few weeks..." I lie. I've lived here for the past 6 months i just haven't cared enough to sort it out i'm surprised i even managed to get out of bed in the morning. "Want a drink?"
"No thanks..." Gary clears his throat playing with his fingers a little. He only does that when somethings on his mind.
"Anything to eat? I ordered a take away it should be here shortly."
"Rob...sit down..." Gary looks at me. Shit. This doesn't sound good.

"O...ok..." Swallowing hard i walk over to the empty seat beside Gary on the sofa. Patting my hands a little on my knees to reduce the stress my eyes slowly meet his.
"Why do you feel so edgy around me Rob? I thought we put things aside?" He runs his hand through his hair causing it to fluff up a little. Painting on a smile i look at him.
"I'm sorry Gaz... i'm... i'm just so happy we're together... i mean... the band... i'm just happy the band is together." Well done Williams make a fool of yourself.
"Is that all? You can talk to me about anything if you want? Anything running through your mind?" He places a single hand onto my shoulder making butterflies form in my stomach again. My breathing increases again why does he have such a strong effect on me? "Rob? You're burning up?? Please tell me?"
Taking small deep breathes i wipe the sweat from my brow. "G...Gaz...er...Gary...i... think... i think i'm-" Another knock sounds on the door saving me from my confession. Jumping out of my seat i stand to my feet smiling thankful for the knock. "I'm hungry. Sorry... for worrying you... i haven't eaten all day, so i've been dying for this take away." Taking my wallet out from my pocket again i go to the door receiving my bag containing the take away which i pay for.

"Want some?" I ask smiling as i walk into the kitchen.
"S...Sure... always love a good curry me." He gives me a friendly smile still twitching his thumbs together. Grabbing some plates from the bare cupboards i begin sharing out the Chinese. "Rob?" Unexpectedly Gary appears behind me making me flinch.
"Almost done. Want a drink it looks spicy." I the curry from suck my thumb not turning around.
"I need to say something."
"There's some glasses in the bottom cupboard." Trying to avoid the conversation i ignore him.
"Why did you kiss me?"

Hearing those words makes my body freeze. Completely. It feels like i've stepped outside in Switzerland. "H...Here..." I hand him the plate containing the Chinese. Walking back into the living room i sit back down with my plate on lap. Did i hear right? This can't be happening. We've only just made up we can't start arguing again. After a few minutes Gary finally walks back into the room sitting beside me starting to eat. We sit in silence the only sound is the noise of the cutlery making contact with the plates. "Sorry..." Muttering under my breath i avoid eye contact.
Feeling his eyes burn on the side of my head i continue to eat giving me an excuse not to look at him. "Are you going to explain?" If only i could say it was because of the drink. "I wasn't that drunk Rob i didn't imagine it."
"I....I was.... i was just happy... i'm sorry."
"Look at me." His voice sounds much quieter and calmer. Ignoring him again my eyes remain focused on my half empty plate. "Rob. Look at me." He places a finger under my chin bringing my eyes to meet his. We stare at one another. I haven't seen such beautiful looking eyes before. It feels like the butterflies are exploding inside of me now whilst i study his face. Those thin pink lips scream to me to make contact with one anothers. Starting to panic a little i can't keep my eyes off him. The feelings for Gary have grown even more now. "Robbie? What is it?" Gary asks looking even more worried and concerned about me.

My actions take over causing me to push my lips against his for around 4 seconds until Gary pulls away. "Rob! What the fuck?!"
Shit! What did i do that for? I've truly fucked things up now. For god sake why did i do that?! "Oh... god... G...Gary... i... i'm so... so sorry..." My hands begin to shake feeling like a rabbit in head lights. This can't be happening am i asleep?
"Calm down!" Gary places both of his hands onto my face trying to stop me from freaking out. The only thing i'm worried about is loosing Gary as a friend, and i'm pretty sure i've done it now.
"I...I'm... oh god... so...so sorry... oh..." Breathing faster i feel sick. "You hate me. Don't you? I'm sorry Gary so sorry i-" Forcefully Gary makes contact with my lips stopping me from talking. His hands remain on my face whilst his eyes are closed focused on the kiss. Is this real? Instantly my arms wrap around the back of his neck as my eyes slowly close. The butterflies leave my stomach, but are soon replaced by fireworks... exploding fireworks.