Chapter 1

Pushing the palm of my hand against the side of my cheek trying to sooth the drilling pain in my mouth. "Fuck sake." I mutter staggering into my small messy kitchen searching through the cupboards for some pain relief. Bastard tooth ache. Whilst looking through my bare cupboards the sound of my mobile ringing interrupts me. It's not often people ring me i don't really use my mobile, so only a few people have my number. Still holding my mouth i walk over to the coffee table to check the caller ID. Incoming call - Lil buddy. It's Mark and i know exactly what he's ringing for. A few days back he asked me to come down to the Highson hotel for a meet up with the other boys properly for the first time. We was going to watch their recent foursome tour The Circus and maybe discuss future plans as a five piece, but with this tooth ache and the thought of being in a room with Gary Barlow after all these years is putting my mind completely off the idea. "Hello?" I mumble biting the inside of my cheek.
"ROB!" A cheerful voice on the other end of the phone speaks. Even though i can't see his face i can tell he's doing that famous grin of his. "Are you ready?"
"Sorry Markie... i think i'm gonna have to give it a miss this time."
Mark's cheerful tone drops. "But... why? Everyone's excited to see you? Is it because of Gary?"
"N...no... i've got terrible tooth ache i'll be a miserable bastard all night." Swallowing hard i feel like i've let him down again.
"You wont we're gonna have a good laugh like we use to do..all of us together enjoying one another's company... i'll even let you laugh at me falling off my unicycle..." Mark giggles a little. "Come on Rob...for me?"
There's a couple of seconds of silence until i softly sigh. "Ok ok... i'll come... i'll take some tablets and i'll be there."
"I knew you wouldn't let me down Rob! I've rung you a taxi a few minutes ago i'm already here no one else is yet, so i'll see you soon."
So after all that he knew his pleading charm would work on me? Typical Mark. "Alright see you then."
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After a short journey the taxi drops me outside the doors of the hotel, and it doesn't look like a cheap one either. Maybe i should of dressed up more instead of wearing some trackies and a t shirt. After paying the driver i slip on my sunglasses this way i can avoid the people who recognise me, and they can avoid my fowl mood. "Yes sir?" A grinning smartly dressed female looks at me from behind the reception desk. Wow i really am under dressed tonight.
"Erm... i'm meeting some friends here this afternoon. Mark Owen's room?"
She types a few things into the computer. "Ah yes second floor room 161. You can either take the stairs or elevator."
"Thanks." I walk to the direction of the elevator before stepping inside of it. Pushing my back far against the wall as the elevator begins to move i collect my thoughts. Thinking of being in the same room as the man i've 'hated' worries me. How will Gary re act seeing me there? I wasn't the nicest person to him when i left the things i said about him were unacceptable, and i don't blame him to sort of hate me after it all. The elevator stops and the doors come open stopping me from my thoughts. It's time to face it all. Slowly i shuffle out of the elevator onto the red carpet searching for the room.

After 10 minutes i finally reach the right corridor of rooms. Room 161. Before knocking on the door i gently press my ear against it. The only sound i can hear is the tv maybe non of the others have arrived yet. At least i'll have more time to get use to the fact there's going to be five of us in a room together. Quietly i knock onto the hollow wooden door. Within a few seconds it comes open to be greeted by a grinning Mark Owen. His hair is neatly combed back into a quiff. He's wearing a white floral shirt with grey scarf wrapped loosely around his neck along with some smart black trousers and brown boots. Clearly Mark's style he's always been the best dressed out of the bunch. "Rob!" Tightly he embraces me into a friendly hug. I return it resting my chin onto his shoulder.
"Hiya mate. How're you?" We walk inside of the posh decorated room of the hotel. Mark hands me a glass of sparkling water and invites me over onto the sofa.
"I'm great! Excited more than anything, you?" He sips from his glass still smiling at me. In his eyes they look surprised that i'm even here.
"You know... been better... nervous... about all this." My eyes fix watching the bubbles pop in the glass avoiding eye contact.
"Don't worry Rob... i mean this whole thing with Gaz is in the past. Everything which happened the first time around is in the past and tonight we can all sit around laughing at our memories. We've all grown up." Mark pats my back a little making me feel a little more calmer about this afternoon.
"Yeah... guess you're right... what's Gary like these days anyway?" Trying to make time go slower i decide to ask a few questions about Gary, so i can sort of understand him how he is now.
"Gaz is great. Lovely down to earth man. We all get to have our input on the albums, songs, tours etc. He asks about what we think before putting his ideas out there. Much more controlled atmosphere and makes you want to come to work more. Its fun."

"Sounds good... how's life treating him? Is he with anyone?" I finish the last of my drink placing the empty glass onto the wooden coffee table.
"Well... he split from his recent girlfriend... to be honest it was the best thing for him.. she wasn't up to no good... controlling him. He's happy more than anything about it. So yeah... we've all changed in the best possible way."
"What is he-" A knock on the door cuts off my question. My muscles become a little tensed again.
"Excuse me a sec." Mark stands to his feet happily walking to the door. Feeling nervous again i also stand to my feet pouring myself another drink.
"MARKKOO!" A familiar voice speaks. Howard? Peering over my shoulder i notice Howard with his arms tightly around Mark giving him a quick peck on his cheek followed by Jason who copies.
"Evening lads come in!" Mark returns the hugs and kisses closing the door behind them, so still no Gary? Wonder if he'll actually come tonight.... "We've got someone special with us tonight." Mark shines his eyes into my direction.

"Bob! Long time no see mate." Howard walks over to me giving me a quick hug patting my back.
"Hiya How. It's great to see you." Nervously i smile returning the hug. "You too Jay." Again we both hug. They look great both two handsome men.
Jason smiles at me whilst grabbing a much stronger drink than me from the drinks trolley. "How's life then Rob?"
"Yeah it's great...thanks... couldn't be better." I lie biting my tongue slightly. To be honest i'm feeling lonely and miserable living alone in a poxy flat.
"Great to hear." Howard smiles grabbing a drink sitting beside me on the sofa.
Mark joins us seconds later taking off his boots. "Which one of us has the dvd?"
"Gary said he was gonna bring it. Well that's what he texted me anyway." Jason peers from the rim of his glass.

Sitting quiet again Howard looks at me whilst Mark and Jason are engaged in conversation. "Everything ok mate?" He asks sounding a little concerned.
"Huh? Y...yeah... just nerves that's all... it's all been so long...since... well you know..." A sigh leaves my lips feeling all kinds of emotions.
"We're here to support one another, Rob... i mean even Gary seemed happy that you was coming..."
"H...he did?" Another knock sounds on the door causing all of our eyes to dart across the room. It's Gary. It's got to be him. Mark once again skips towards the door opening it.
"Evening Mr Barlow! Fashionably late as usual." He jokes pulling Gary into a hug.
"Oi... i'm not you!" Gary chuckles speaking in his strong Mancunian accent. I haven't heard that accent for about 15 years. I feel like a fan about to meet their idol in all the wrong ways. "Is he here?" Gary mumbles audible to all of us.
"Yeah on the sofa." Mark whispers taking Gary's coat from him. Looking only out the corner of my eye Gary enters the room.
"Gazza B!" Howard raises his hand giving him a wave.
"'ello matey!" Gary walks over to us cradling Howard into a quick.
Jason grins from the sofa opposite us. "Where have you been Gaz? Not like you to be late."
"I forgot the dvd didn't i? So i was half way here and had to turn back... didn't expect one of you numpties to remember." Playfully Gary rolls his eyes at his fellow band members. If i didn't feel awkward before i sure do now. Sinking slowly into the sofa i continue staring at my half empty glass. Why did i ever agree to come?
"Rob...?" A voice pulls me from my day dream. My eyes slowly glance up from my glass making contact with Gary's who's hoovering above me.
"H..Hello Gary..." I clear my throat neatening myself up on the sofa. He looks great. Much slimmer than the last time i saw him. He's casually dressed, but smart with a faint smile on his face. Howard takes the dvd from Gary's hand and shuffles over to the tv on his knees.
"Can i sit down?" Gary points to the now empty spot beside me on the sofa.
Sitting up straighter i nod in response. "Course..." A very small smile appears on my face, as i rub my sweaty palms onto my trackies.
"It's lovely to see you Rob... you're looking great." Gary whispers. Hearing those words take a tone of bricks from my shoulders. I release a quiet happy sigh.
"You too Gaz..." I can't help but stare at him whilst his eyes are focused on the tv. I'm not surprised he's adored by millions. Is he even real?
Mark pushes play on the tv and the dvd begins.