Chapter 28

Gary's POV

The sound of shuffling manages to disturb me from my light sleep. Robbie quietly tip toes into the bathroom, leaving me alone in bed. I've barely slept last night after what had happened, i don't know how much more of this i can keep up. Lying to Robbie is killing me inside. Wrapping the duvet closer towards my neck, i nuzzle my cheek against the pillow. The toilet flushes, causing me to quickly close my eyes again. Within seconds, the bed sag as a figure crawls into the empty space behind me. Very gently, a hand strokes against my bare back, where it stays there for a brief moment. The warmth of his hand still manages to cause goosebumps to form onto my skin and sends tingles into the pit of my stomach. Trailing his hand around to my stomach, his fingertips move into a circular motion around my navel. Moving even more closer to me with his fingers still running around my skin, Robbie places his chin onto my shoulder, whilst his lips skillfully trace the tensed vein in my neck. Its quite obvious that I'm awake, I've never been any good at pretending anyway. Folding his arms around me, the slight gap in between our bodies is closed, as my back firmly presses against his torso, allowing me to feel his steady breathing shirtless chest. My eyes remain shut, until i hear the faint buzz of a voice speak against my ear. "...Morning gorgeous..." Followed by a trail of soft kisses along my jaw line. At first i refuse to surrender to Robbie's morning greetings of kisses and cuddles, but right now after last night, they are exactly what i need, at least this way i don't have to suffer in silence being harmed by my thoughts. Fluttering my eye lids, a silent sigh escapes my slightly parted lips, before stretching my arms out in front of me. "Been awake long?" The same voice questions. Turning over very slowly onto my side, i come face to face with the younger man, the brightness of his green eyes is nearly enough to blind me, for some reason i feel like I'm hungover, I'm not feeling my usual self.

Peering through my heavy eyelids, sleepily i smile. "Not really... just been thin-...erm... relaxing... how are you?"
"Yeah...I'm fine... much better sleeping in a bed instead of that crap brick i had to sleep on the other night. Not surprised so many people die in hospitals laying on a thing like that! Besides... at least i get a good morning cuddle with a half naked you..."
"Lucky you..." Sarcastically i smirk, keeping my eyes semi closed. Robbie pecks against my ear, making me squirm under his touch. "Hmmm..." Nuzzling my head onto my pillow, i try and break away from his touch. Stroking his hand down my abdomen, his fingers tickle against my groin. "Hmm...don't..." I grumble. Robbie chooses to ignore my demand, as his hand begins to cup me, creating a slow gentle massage. "Rob. Don't." Pushing his hand away from me, i hutch myself up in the bed. " I've only just woken..." Causing a look of offence to enter Robbie's face.

Robbie tears away one of his arms which was fixed around my waist. "Erm...Y...yeah...s...sorry..." Blushing slightly, he places a hand onto my face, noticing the tiredness still in my eyes. Carefully he caresses my cheek, lowering his voice. "You look shattered, Gaz. Looks like you have been in hospital, not me and i don't mean that in a horrible way... are you going to talk to me about what exactly happened last night?" Fiddling with the silk on the duvet, i choose to ignore the contact with his piercing eyes. What kind of relationship am i leading with him? All I'm doing is lying to him. "Gary...? You can't keep putting this off mate... honesty is the key...right?" Still, i try my best to brush off his comments. Why did i let him know i was awake? At least he wasn't asking questions then. "Gaz!" Sharply he speaks in my ear, which is enough to make any person jump out of their skin by the unexpected change of tone.
"W...What?!"
"Will you look at me when i am speaking to you, please?" Robbie's always been the person who is so easily annoyed or angered. He's the one in the band with the temper and always will be. If something is upsetting him or if someone is pissing him off, he'll make sure they know about it. "Now, are you going to tell me? I can't be doing with guessing or trying to read your mind. You heard the Doctor, stress isn't needed right now...unless you want a repeat of what happened a couple of days ago?"
"No!" Loudly i snap. "No...of course i don't want that...how could you possibly think i would want that?" Tenderly i press my palms against the dark wiry hair on his chest.
"Because you're not telling me anything, Gary. You've been acting strange lately and i don't fucking like it. It makes me worry and it causes me to over think things. Everytime i ask you something, you just seem to tense up and brush it under the carpet. People don't randomly burst into tears for no sodding reason unless they're allowing things to secretly build up inside their heads. What is going on?"

Hearing Robbie's sudden increase of voice, causes me to stay still without moving an inch of my body. We sit in silence for a few minutes, as i try to absorb what he's just said whilst i conjure up another set of lies. "I...Its...Its nothing." I mumble ever so quietly, whispering it in fact.
"Nothing? So you're going to pull that card with me? What do you expect, eh Gaz? For me to say 'oh alright then' no. I'm sorry, but that's not fitting with me. Your mouth tells me one thing, but your eyes tell me another." Rubbing the sleep out from his eyes, he becomes impatient with me. "I want answers, Gary. If i don't get any then what am i even doing here? What am i even doing in this bed with you?" Slinging his legs over the side the bed, he rips back the duvet, facing his back now to me as his head rests in his hands. "Sometimes...when i look at you... its hard to tell if you do actually feel the same way i feel about you or am i just one of the lads to you? Just a friend or band mate? Because right now, i certainly do not feel like your lover." Sadly he speaks. Forcefully i pluck up some courage to try and stop him from over thinking the situation. They're far from the truth.
"That...That isn't true..." Softly i place a hand onto his tensed shoulder.
"Then what is Gary? What is the truth? Why are you hiding your feelings from me if i mean anything to you, you would fucking tell me! Do you even love me? Or do you not trust me?"
"Don't even go there! Of course i bloody love you, more than what you'll ever know."
"Oh, yeah? Then tell me! Tell me what you're hiding from me and don't you even think about backing away again."
It feels as if I'm losing my breath, becoming claustrophobic in Robbie's company. "Can you just drop it?"
"NO! I'm not leaving this room until you tell me, got it?"
"I'm not a child, Rob." Pulling back the covers, i head towards the door, right now i can't be doing with being treated this way. He doesn't need to know the truth. Just as i reach for the door handle, immediately he slams it shut, before gripping onto my shoulders.
"Don't even think about running away from me."

Feeling slightly angered by being locked in the bedroom like a prisoner, i can't help but allow my eyes to scan his naked body. Does he really expect me to take him seriously when he's standing completely naked in front of me? "I'm not running anywhere."
"Then talk to me! Don't try and escape when i ask you these questions... please Gaz...I'm not here to upset you... I'm pressuring you, because i care about you... i care about us..."
"I care about us too...that's why..."
"Why what? Why you're hiding this?"
Taking a deep breath, in defeat i merely nod my head in response. "Yes..."
"OK... you're protecting our relationship... well how exactly are you doing that? What are you protecting it from..." The desperation in his eyes is too much. There's no point in trying wriggle myself out of this one. Bowing my head, securely i hold to his hand, removing it from my shoulder.
"I...I don't know how to tell you..."
"Come on, Gaz. Just let it out... you'll feel a lot better, trust me. I'm here for you and i promise not to go anywhere." That's a promise I'll hold him to.
"W...We...Well...the thing is..." Swallowing dryly, my eyes glance into view with his. "T...The...thing is...well... when-"
"Rob? Gaz?" Very lightly a knock sounds in front of me on the closed door. Robbie shakes his head, instantly taking my hand, where he drags me to the other side of the room.
"Ignore him. He'll go..."
"But..." Looking back over towards the bedroom door, i see a shadow underneath it. "He can hear us...he's already heard us."
"Gary, stop making excuses!"
"Guys? I can hear you? Is everything OK?" Mark remains the other side of the door, waiting to be allowed entry.
Persuading Robbie with my eyes, with a roll of his eyes he walks back over to the door, swinging it open in pure annoyance. "What do you want Mark?" Sounding peeved, he asks the smaller male.

"Oh...er...did...did i interrupt...erm..." Mark shields his eyes from the view of his naked friend.
"No. We wasn't... you know. What do you want?"
Reaching for my shorts, i release a sigh. "Rob, let him in." Doing as i say, Robbie steps aside letting a nervous looking Mark inside. "Hiya, Marko." Wrapping an arm around him, gently i pat his back whilst my eyes fix onto Robbie, who quietly slides a pair of boxers on from the messy pile of clothes on the floor.
"Hey, Gaz. I've just quickly popped round if you don't mind?"
"Course not. Is everything OK?"
Happily, he takes a seat onto the edge of the bed. "Yeah, sure is...just wanted to ask the pair of you something..."
"Alright...take your kit off lad... the bed's already got its covered ripped off...so we're ready for you..." Playfully Robbie laughs, causing Mark to instantly blush.
"N...No...i mean not that! Erm...i don't have anything against...er...but..i er..."
"I'm joking lad." He plonks down beside Mark on the bed. "So... what do you wanna ask?"
"Oh er... Well i can't really say... because its a surprise, but is it possible the pair of you could meet us on the beach...lets say... half an hour?"
Both me and Robbie look at one another, feeling intrigued by Mark's comment. "Yeah...don't see why not? Is there a dress code?"
"Nah...not really, but if you can pick Gary some nice stylish clothes out Rob, that will be fab. I would do it, but I'm rather busy at the moment..."
"Oi! Cheeky git." Softly i push him, pretending to be offended. "Give us a few minutes and we'll be ready."
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Robbie's POV

"We can talk about it you know?" Wrapping an arm around Gary's shoulder, lazily i smile over at him.
"About...?"
"What you were going to tell me, before Mark walked in?"
"Oh..." Once again, Gary shys away from the topic. "But we're almost here now... and i much prefer to talk when we're alone... i don't want the lads butting in... can we just enjoy ourselves tonight? We've got plenty of time to talk...besides I'm feeling much better..."
As much as i don't want to let him slip away from the conversation, i go ahead and agree to drop it for tonight. He's right. After ending up in hospital, that has already been a downer on the holiday, we don't want any more...that's what being at home is for.
"Any idea where we are going?" Searching around the empty beach, the only sound which can be heard is the faint squawking coming from the seagulls, pecking at dead sea life on the sand. "Surly Mark wouldn't of given us the wrong location? I mean... the other beach isn't until a good few hours away...and that's by frigging taxi!"
"No... Mark wouldn't have got it wrong... he's much more brighter than what we give him credit for." Gary sniggers.
"Yeah...guess so... lets just take a stroll until we see them... and if we don't... then we'll make our own surprise back at the hotel, ay?" I knock my shoulder against Gary's cheekily.
"Full of surprises, aren't you Mr Williams?" Nudging me against the ribs with his elbow, he bites his bottom lip.
"Can you blame me?" Trailing my fingers down his arm, our fingers interweave together. Gary immediately looks at our clasped hands with a mere look of shock on his face.
"Erm...can we...?"
"Sod it. If the paps want to get a photo of the two of us holding hands, then go ahead. I'm not avoiding things to please other people."
"B...But maybe... we should take things slow... on the outside world..." Gary's hand slips away from mine, creating confusion.
"Are you emb-"
"SURPRISE!" Out of nowhere two familiar faces jump out in front of the pair of us, catching us off guard.

"Fucking hell!" Startled, i blink my eyes at the two grinning faces. Howard pulls Gary into an embrace, whilst he tries to catch his breath back.
"Did we scare you, Rob?" Grinning widely, Mark wraps his arms around my waist.
"Yeah, knobhead." I grunt, before holding him in my arms, giving him a little swing. Letting go of Mark, we change position so now Howard is in front of me.
"We orginised a little party... a get together... just the five of us... to congratulate the pair of you." Shyly he smiles, whilst patting me on the back during the hug. "We really are happy for you."
"Oh...guys..." Speaking in a cheerful tone, I catch Gary starting to well up. "We really are thankful...aren't we Gaz? " Gripping tightly to his hand, i give it a light squeeze and this time he doesn't decide to pull away.
"Too right... words cannot describe." With Gary continuing to chatter away, my eyes are drawn to a figure who sits on the sunbed in the distance.
"Is that...?" Pointing into the direction of the man, the three heads turn to where my finger rests.
"Yeah uh!" Mark looks like an excited little boy. "He came back in the early hours of the morning. Wanted to surprise ya."
"Did he say where he had been?" I ask, rising my eyebrow feeling slightly annoyed that Jason disappeared the way he did with a say so to anyone. Mark opens his mouth to speak, but Gary almost immediately cuts him off.
"That's Jason's business...isn't it? " Letting go of my hand, he walks up towards the pathway, where a set of chairs rest with a table full of booze and food
"Oh? Er...yeah...of course..." Why is he annoyed at me for caring about a friend? Frowning my eyebrows by Gary's reaction to my question, for now i choose to ignore it.
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An hour into the party and Ive barely seen Gary. Ever since we've arrived here Gary and Jason have sat away from us, having their own conversation. Howard uses the metal bottle opener to remove the cap from his larger, before sitting next to me in one of the deck chairs. "Everything alright, Bob?" He asks, whilst using his hand to shade his eyes from the sun.
Snapping my gaze away from the pair in the near distance, i shake my head, clenching onto my glass containing sparkling water.
"Huh? Oh, yeah... I'm swell mate." Forcefully i smile. "Where's Markie?"
"Private call." Howard winks. "Probably the secret missus... you know our Mark. He'll be married before we've met her...or him."
"True that..." Sighing under my breath, i take a gulp of the water, still continuing to watch Gary out the corner of my eye.
"Something troubling you, Rob? You didn't plan anything tonight did you? Don't want you to think we're trying to keep the pair of you apart."
"Hey!" Nudging his knee gently. "Of course we don't think that. This is a lovely gesture! Its just some other things which I'm thinking about, but I'm fine...honest." Giving him a fake smile, i try and focus my eyes else where.
"Its only just the beginning... we've planned much more than food, drink and music. As soon as it gets darker... you'll see." Mischievously, Howard grins.
"Gotta love surprises."

"Especially ours!" Mark re appears, tucking his mobile into his shirt pocket. "Ey...whats the deal with those two?" Squinting his eyes, he looks over the top of my head. Tilting my head over my shoulder, i latch my eyes onto the two men. Gary hits his finger against Jason's chest, almost causing him to fall off the sunbed. Jason raises his voice, but the his words are inaudible to us. "I knew something was the matter when Gaz turned up today. I just thought he was pissed at me for invading your time alone." Gary pinches the bridge of his nose, inhaling a deep breath, as if he's regretting something he's just said to Jason. Lifting his head, whilst his hands cup together, his eyes finally manage to focus onto mine. A slight look of shock fills his eyes, as he glances back at Jason sheepishly. "They are both acting odd...if i must say so...do you think so Rob?"
"Mark, mate...what have i told you about over thinking these things?"
"I know Dougie, its just... how's Gary been acting with you, Rob?"
Mark's words sound a blur to me right now. Tapping my finger against my glass, Gary carries on his conversation, looking even more agitated than before.
"Maybe they're having an affair, Makie." Howard jokes, which causes Mark to erupt into laughter. Right now, i don't see that as a joke. They've been avoiding the three of us all night, as soon as me and Gary arrived here, he grabbed a few beers, a plate of food and swiftly made his way over to Jason. All night they've been engaged in conversation. There's a feeling in my gut which i extremely dislike when i look at the two of them together and how they're acting around one another. Are they having disagreements? Or is there something there which isn't hatred? I don't think i can take anymore heart ache in my life... Maybe this is part of what Gary wanted to tell me?  Have I really been that blind?