Robbie's POV
"Mr Williams?" Calmly a voice speaks, followed by a light which shines into each one of my eyes. "Can you hear me, Robert?"
Closing my eyes together firmly, i bat away the blinding orange light from my pupils. "Mhmm..." Is all i'm able to moan, still feeling incredibly light headed.
"Do you remember anything which happened with your accident?"
Slowly, i pry open one of my heavy feeling eyes. "A...a..accident?" My speech comes out in short stutters. "W...Where's...G...Gar-" Tilting my hand to the right handside, i notice a worried looking Gary, with a tear stained face.
"Hello you..." Quietly he whispers, as our fingers are interlocked together.
Sighing, weakly i close my eyes again. "Oh, Gaz..."
"Ssssh...its ok...don't go apologising now..." Sympathically he strokes the top of my hand. "Is it ok if we...?"
"Sure. Just make sure he keeps rested. I'll be back in later to give him a final check over, but it is advised that he stays in here at least tonight, in case things change throughout the night." The doctor takes his clipboard containing the paperwork, before leaving.
"Great... now i'm stuck in here whilst i'm meant to be on this hoilday, enjoying myself with you. Well done Robbie, well done."
"Hey..." Gary playfully taps my hand, shuffling closer to the bed enough for him to wrap his free arm around the back of my neck. "I just want you better, besides you can make it up to me by buying me dinner."
Sighing happily, i nuzzle my nose against his neck. My safe zone. "I'll buy you anything in this world... you know that."
"I was joking mate... do you remember anything what happened? About the accident?"
"Vaguely... it just felt like i wanted to be sick or to say something, but i couldn't. Sort of like i was on a rollercoaster? The rest was just a blur."
"This is all my fault." Gary mutters under his breath.
Immediately i raise my head by his comment. "Are you kidding me?" Speaking slightly annoyed over the fact he thinks that.
"It is. I can't believe i put my own feelings first once again, whilst you were silently suffering. What sort of man am i?" Seeing Gary upset pains me deeply.
"The best. You are a good man Gary Barlow and i bloody wish you would believe it when i and others say it." Taking his hands in mine, softly i place a kiss on the top of them. "I love you..."
Looking defeated by my words, for the first time he decides to surrender from the discussion. "I love you too..." Peacefully he looks at me. "At least we can spend a nice quiet afternoon tog-" Unexpectedly the door swings open, catching the pair of us off guard. Mark comes rushing into the room, gripping to the bottom of my bed.
"Rob?! Are you ok, mate?" His eyes show pure panic and worry. Within a second Howard joins him, pulling at his shoulder, trying to calm the small male down. Pulling back my duvet slightly, i sit up comfortably in my bed.
"I'm a little woozy, but honestly guys I'm fine." Giving them all a convincing smile, Jason is the last to enter the room.
"Gary texted me about you collapsing and i-"
Gently Howard nudges Mark, trying to quieten the worried man. "Its good to see you're OK, Bob. Got us all worried, especially this one..." He playfully glances down at Mark, who is still clinging onto the bed frame. "...Glad you wasn't alone either... good thing you was there, Gary...you're a true...er...friend?" Looking at mine and Gary's hands which are still in contact with one another, happily he smiles at the pair of us. "So its official then? The two of you?"
Gary looks at me for a bit of guidance, still unsure what to say, as his sweating palm twitches against mine.
"Sure is... and i couldn't be happier..." Placing a hand onto Gary's tensed knee, i give it a squeeze. Out the corner of my eye, i catch Jason shake his head, as his full attention is being given to his phone.
"Well...in that case... congratulations... really made up for the pair of you...aren't we lads?" Howard pats my leg through the duvet.
"Of course we are... no matter what, you both have our full support." Mark adds, reassuring us. "Right, Jason?" All eyes are drawn towards the door, where Jason continues to sit, away from the four of us.
"Uh? Oh...yeah...right...full support." He mumbles into his phone, still avoiding eye contact. Thankfully I'm not the only one seeing this side of Jason, as Mark's worriedly scratches his neck, unsure of Jason's behaviour.
"Are you alright, Lander?" Gary rises an eyebrow over into his direction.
"Yes." He snaps back, before standing to his feet. "Erh...I've gotta get off. Need to make a few calls, you know how family is. Catch you later, maybe. Hope you feel better soon, Rob." Before any of us get chance to question or answer him, he's gone, out the door in a flash. Howard bites his tongue, feeling the room begin to tense up over the situation. Clapping his hands together, he pulls up two chairs for him and Mark to sit on, around my bed.
"So... i think now would be a good time to have that chat which we were going to have today? Now... start from the beginning... you pair of love birds..."
Gary's POV
Kissing Robbie's temple, carefully i pull the duvet up towards his naked chest. "I love you..." Mumbling against his ear, i place a gentle kiss against his cheek, as he quietly snores in his deep sleep.
"Don't worry, mate...we'll keep an eye on him." Mark strokes my arm, grinning up to me as Howard hands him over a plastic cup of coffee.
"You look knackered, Gaz. Maybe you should have at least an hour's rest yourself before coming back here?" As much as i feel like sleeping for the next fifty years, right now Robbie needs me. Declining his offer, i take the apartment keys to go and collect some fresh clothes for Robbie.
Partly closing my eyes, i walk along the beach's pavement. The saltiness of the air fills my nostrils, which i breathe in a long, happy, intake of breath. We're so privileged to have such understanding friend's in our lives, not many would be sticking by us, especially not with the state of mind people are now a days. Kicking a stone along the gravel, something catches my eye... or should i say someone? A middle aged man, wearing a grey cardigan, sits alone drowning his sorrows and thoughts in a glass of whiskey. Thinking to myself for no longer than five seconds, i decide to trail off into his direction. After a short walk, i arrive at the half empty bar. "Jase?" Even speaking so quietly, he already had sensed i was around. "How did the call go?" Its obvious that he didn't need to make a call, this is Jason we're talking about, the guy who still carries cassettes around when wanting to listen to music, he's the least technical person when it comes to the twenty - first century.
"S'alright." Downing the remaining liquid in his glass, it clinks against the empty glass on the table.
"Family, ok?"
"Yeah uh." Since I've arrived here, he hasn't looked at me once. Pulling back a chair opposite him, i place my hands onto the table. Awkwardness fills the air for a whole five minutes, words rest on the tip of my tongue, but fail to budge.
"Its great that Robbie's ok, isn't it?"
Releasing a sigh, Jason rolls his eyes up to mine, finally making eye contact. "Gaz, why are you here? I wanted a quiet drink to myself, haven't you got places to be? People to be with?"
"Yeah, i do, but i want to know what the deal with you is..." Tightness appears in my throat, already i can hear the words which are dying to leave his mouth. 'What you and Robbie are doing is wrong.' 'I can't support you both on this.' 'I think its a good idea if i back out of this album, with the pair of you in a relationship isn't making me want to stay' Shaking my head, i brush away the negative thoughts. Surly Jason isn't this type of man, we've known each other for the entire length of our careers and he's never shown anything against gay relationships, so there's got to be another reason as to why he's acting like this.
"The deal with me?" Sarcastically he laughs. "Listen Gaz, I've got better things to do other than listening to you and Robbie plan to skip off into the sunset." Pushing back his chair, he heads off again.
"What's that suppose to mean? Are you against the whole idea of us two?" Following his movements, my hand rubs my tired feeling eyes. "Honestly... i never thought you'd react this way."
"I don't have anything against these type of relationships. Its people's decisions and i don't have control over their lives, so good on them, but it seems some people have a colourful history, background even, which seems to just go over their heads."
Standing still, with a confused expression on my face, i allow him to continue his walk. "What's that suppose to mean? Me and Rob have put our differences aside, we're happy? Isn't that what matters at the end of the day? We love each other, Jay. Whether you agree with that or not I'm sorry bu-"
"You're in love with one another? Or he's in love with your power?" Already, Jason regrets the words which he's spoken. Swallowing dryly, his head drops backwards slightly as he walks ahead still.
Picking up my pace, i try and keep up with him. "What's that suppose to mean? What power do i have which Robbie doesn't? This isn't a money situation, clearly, not the position the pair of us are in, so what is it?"
"Its nowt, Gaz. Just forget i said anything, OK?"
"No." Stopping his footwork, my hand grips tightly to his shoulder. "I want to know what you mean by that." My heart rate increases, due to the anger building inside of me.
"Gaz, honest just le-"
"I want answers!" Rising my voice, i push him (not too forcefully, but enough to stop him escaping the question again) against an abandoned building near the sea front. His eyes close for a brief moment, as he sucks in a deep breath. After a few seconds, he finally gives in knowing there's no chance of avoiding this or getting himself out of the situation.
"I...I...erh...I...kn...know..." The two worded reply comes out in a silent tone. The confusion just continues to rise more and more into this conversation.
"You know? What exactly do you know? You mean you knew about me and Robbie sneaking around, because Mark's already briefly told us th-"
"No." Jason cuts into my sentence, instantly shutting me up. "Its not that..."
Scratching my stubble, trying to make sense of the riddles he's feeding me, my eyes never leave his, even if he does keep constantly avoiding mine. "Well... go on then? This can go on all night if it has to."
"Alright, alright." Holding his hands up in defeat, he surrenders. "Way back before you and Rob got together or even considered getting this far. The time the pair of you were at one another's throats..." He takes a final deep breath, before blabbing. "Twenty odd years ago... you know..."
"Know what?" Stepping closer to him, i feel the disappointment he has in himself.
"I...I...was...I was there... when... erm...the whole thing happened... with Nigel...and Rob...I saw it all..." Jason bows his head, looking ashamed. Backing away slowly, i refuse to believe my ears. He's not telling me he was there when Robbie got 'attacked' by Nigel's friend, is he?
I close my eyes I can still see your face...
Wednesday, 30 April 2014
Friday, 25 April 2014
Chapter 24
Robbie's POV
Wiping away the band of sweat from my eyebrows, it doesn't feel real. Mark stares vaguely at his knee which is resting on the bed beside me. Did he even say that? Or am i just hearing which could be said one day? "S...sorry, what?" Finally after a whole 5 minutes of silence, i'm the first to speak.
"You know what i said, Robbie." His voice quietens each time he speaks, causing Gary's heart rate to increase, almost as if his heart is pounding against the bed underneath the pair of us.
"And i don't know what you mean by it? I haven't seen Gary today."
"Will you please just stop lying?!" For the first time, something inside of Mark snaps, like he's had enough of the games. Mark is the type of man to take things on his shoulders, he can carry problems around for years without complaining, but now... now it's like he's a whole different man. "There's no point pretending anymore... just say it... admit it?" Closing my eyes, i take a long intake of breath. What can i do? There's no escaping, Gary is under the bed. "I can easily look under the bed, i know i'll find a middle aged, blonde, Northern male under there."
Surprisingly, i'm suddenly calm over the matter, to be honest i'm annoyed that i'm being questioned like i'm a criminal. Its mine and Gary's lives, why do we have to be treated like this by one of our closest friends?
"And what gives you that idea? I mean why the hell would Gary be hiding underneath my bed?" Snapping at the smaller male, i hoist myself up in bed by my elbows. Not saying a word, carefully Mark raises a finger, pointing into the direction of Gary's flip flops, which have been placed on the floor. Of course, its obvious.
"Not your style, ay Rob?" A curvy smile appears on his glum looking face. Feeling defeated, i let go, there's no other way to get out of this.
"When did you find out?"
"Maybe...we should talk? Just the three of us? Gaz... laying under there isn't going to do any favours for your back..." Lifting up the duvet, the pair of us wait for Gary to slide from under the bed. After a minute or two, he also finally surrenders.
"Bet you guys hate us now, for lying." Gary stands at the side of the bed, acting like a school boy who's about to get yelled at.
"No." Mark's jaw almost drops to his knees in shock. "Never could we hate you, either of you... i guess... i mean... I'm disappointed." Hearing our friend's words, i sense the guilt coming from Gary's hurting body. Dropping onto the edge of the bed, his hands run over his aching face.
"We...we didn't mean for it to come out like this, Mark."
"You could of told us, Gaz. We're your friends and i guess that's why we're upset over it all. We've all been there for one another since the band was put together..."
Sliding closer to Gary, i place a supportive hand onto his back. "For once... we wanted to enjoy something. Neither of us knew things would lead to this, but its bloody beautiful what me and Gary have. We were going to confess, you guys first, family then the fans. After speaking last night, today we were actually going to tell you and that's the honest truth."
"It didn't look like you were going to confess... why would Gary hide under the bed?"
"Because-"
"Why the questions? Does it matter if we were going to confess or not? We're middle age men, stop treating us like we're kids. You of all people, i thought you would be the most understanding, you've always been there for me and you've always been there for Robbie. Do you not like that two men are attracted to one another?!" Loudly Gary snaps.
Mark acts like a mirror to my emotions. "N...no... of course i don't have a problem with that Gary. I'm happy that you two are happy its just-"
"The reason why we didn't tell anyone was, because we didn't want anyone to interfere! I'm new to all these feelings, I've missed Robbie and i don't want to muck things up. I'm scared."
"I understand you, Gaz. I really do." Edging closer to Gary, i notice his tear stained face behind his palms. "But-"
Gary cuts in again. "There's no buts Mark! ....ugh... Just go... i can't be doing with this at the moment...my head is fucked and I'm going to make decisions I'm going to regret later on." Mark looks up at me, unsure what to say or do. Passing over a soft friendly smile, i nod towards the door, as my hand continues to stroke Gary's back for comfort.
"Ok... I'll go, but the lads want us to all have a chat tonight around 7ish... please do whatever you can to convince one another to come along. I'm always going to support your decisions Gary... i made a promise that i would be there for you no matter what when Robbie left... and same to you Rob... i love you both with all my heart, never would i want to see either of you upset..." He pats the top of my hand which still rests on Gary's back. "Give us a text to let us know you're coming...that's all i ask... sorry again." With that, Mark disappears out of the door, leaving me and Gary alone once again.
Gary's hands remain over his face, hiding his upset over all this. "Coffee?" Quietly i mutter. A gentle nod is all i get from the smaller male. "We're in this together, Gaz. I'm never going to leave you...again... i promise you..." Planting a kiss against his neck, i squeeze his hand before drifting towards the kitchen, still with a wobbly head. A sickness swirls around my stomach, causing my throat to feel heavy, almost as if its blocked preventing my speech. Taking deep breathes i hold onto the worktop, with my mouth hovering over the sink. "What's happening to me?" It feels as if I've just ran an four hour marathon. Blackness covers my eyes, a blindfold? No surly? I'm hallucinating?
"Rob?" Blurriness blocks my view. "Rob...are you OK?" The voice gets deeper and deeper until its inaudible.
"H...Hel..." Groaning loudly, i step backwards searching for the worktop for support, until i feel myself falling. My head forcefully makes contact with the stone kitchen tile flooring, creating complete darkness.
Wiping away the band of sweat from my eyebrows, it doesn't feel real. Mark stares vaguely at his knee which is resting on the bed beside me. Did he even say that? Or am i just hearing which could be said one day? "S...sorry, what?" Finally after a whole 5 minutes of silence, i'm the first to speak.
"You know what i said, Robbie." His voice quietens each time he speaks, causing Gary's heart rate to increase, almost as if his heart is pounding against the bed underneath the pair of us.
"And i don't know what you mean by it? I haven't seen Gary today."
"Will you please just stop lying?!" For the first time, something inside of Mark snaps, like he's had enough of the games. Mark is the type of man to take things on his shoulders, he can carry problems around for years without complaining, but now... now it's like he's a whole different man. "There's no point pretending anymore... just say it... admit it?" Closing my eyes, i take a long intake of breath. What can i do? There's no escaping, Gary is under the bed. "I can easily look under the bed, i know i'll find a middle aged, blonde, Northern male under there."
Surprisingly, i'm suddenly calm over the matter, to be honest i'm annoyed that i'm being questioned like i'm a criminal. Its mine and Gary's lives, why do we have to be treated like this by one of our closest friends?
"And what gives you that idea? I mean why the hell would Gary be hiding underneath my bed?" Snapping at the smaller male, i hoist myself up in bed by my elbows. Not saying a word, carefully Mark raises a finger, pointing into the direction of Gary's flip flops, which have been placed on the floor. Of course, its obvious.
"Not your style, ay Rob?" A curvy smile appears on his glum looking face. Feeling defeated, i let go, there's no other way to get out of this.
"When did you find out?"
"Maybe...we should talk? Just the three of us? Gaz... laying under there isn't going to do any favours for your back..." Lifting up the duvet, the pair of us wait for Gary to slide from under the bed. After a minute or two, he also finally surrenders.
"Bet you guys hate us now, for lying." Gary stands at the side of the bed, acting like a school boy who's about to get yelled at.
"No." Mark's jaw almost drops to his knees in shock. "Never could we hate you, either of you... i guess... i mean... I'm disappointed." Hearing our friend's words, i sense the guilt coming from Gary's hurting body. Dropping onto the edge of the bed, his hands run over his aching face.
"We...we didn't mean for it to come out like this, Mark."
"You could of told us, Gaz. We're your friends and i guess that's why we're upset over it all. We've all been there for one another since the band was put together..."
Sliding closer to Gary, i place a supportive hand onto his back. "For once... we wanted to enjoy something. Neither of us knew things would lead to this, but its bloody beautiful what me and Gary have. We were going to confess, you guys first, family then the fans. After speaking last night, today we were actually going to tell you and that's the honest truth."
"It didn't look like you were going to confess... why would Gary hide under the bed?"
"Because-"
"Why the questions? Does it matter if we were going to confess or not? We're middle age men, stop treating us like we're kids. You of all people, i thought you would be the most understanding, you've always been there for me and you've always been there for Robbie. Do you not like that two men are attracted to one another?!" Loudly Gary snaps.
Mark acts like a mirror to my emotions. "N...no... of course i don't have a problem with that Gary. I'm happy that you two are happy its just-"
"The reason why we didn't tell anyone was, because we didn't want anyone to interfere! I'm new to all these feelings, I've missed Robbie and i don't want to muck things up. I'm scared."
"I understand you, Gaz. I really do." Edging closer to Gary, i notice his tear stained face behind his palms. "But-"
Gary cuts in again. "There's no buts Mark! ....ugh... Just go... i can't be doing with this at the moment...my head is fucked and I'm going to make decisions I'm going to regret later on." Mark looks up at me, unsure what to say or do. Passing over a soft friendly smile, i nod towards the door, as my hand continues to stroke Gary's back for comfort.
"Ok... I'll go, but the lads want us to all have a chat tonight around 7ish... please do whatever you can to convince one another to come along. I'm always going to support your decisions Gary... i made a promise that i would be there for you no matter what when Robbie left... and same to you Rob... i love you both with all my heart, never would i want to see either of you upset..." He pats the top of my hand which still rests on Gary's back. "Give us a text to let us know you're coming...that's all i ask... sorry again." With that, Mark disappears out of the door, leaving me and Gary alone once again.
Gary's hands remain over his face, hiding his upset over all this. "Coffee?" Quietly i mutter. A gentle nod is all i get from the smaller male. "We're in this together, Gaz. I'm never going to leave you...again... i promise you..." Planting a kiss against his neck, i squeeze his hand before drifting towards the kitchen, still with a wobbly head. A sickness swirls around my stomach, causing my throat to feel heavy, almost as if its blocked preventing my speech. Taking deep breathes i hold onto the worktop, with my mouth hovering over the sink. "What's happening to me?" It feels as if I've just ran an four hour marathon. Blackness covers my eyes, a blindfold? No surly? I'm hallucinating?
"Rob?" Blurriness blocks my view. "Rob...are you OK?" The voice gets deeper and deeper until its inaudible.
"H...Hel..." Groaning loudly, i step backwards searching for the worktop for support, until i feel myself falling. My head forcefully makes contact with the stone kitchen tile flooring, creating complete darkness.
Sunday, 6 April 2014
Chapter 23
Gary's POV
"Alright...no need to bite my head off..." Quietly i mutter, whilst smarting myself up again, moving slightly out of contact from Robbie.
"S...sorry...i've just had a lot on my mind...and-"
"You've had a lot on your mind? Well what exactly have you had on your mind which i haven't?"
Robbie lifts his eyebrow swiftly, surprised over my interruption. "Well... i don't want to sneak around anymore, Gary." Without hesitation, he blurts out.
Studying his face for a smile to show that he's playing around as always, i blink my eyes at his serious facial expression. "What do you mean by that? This 'sneaking' around is the only thing helping us spend time together. Unless you don't want to spend time together on this holiday?"
"Hey!" Robbie immediately takes both of my hands in his, the warmth of his palms stroking against the tops of my hands. "Now that isn't true, there's no other place i want to be, other than being with you...you know that."
"What is it then? Things are just getting confusing now... why all this tonight? Was it for a certain reason? Have...Have you done something? Is that why you were trying to sweeten me, so its easier to break the news?"
Robbie shakes his head, taking a tighter grip to my hands. "No...not yet..." His voice quietens, almost turning into a soft whisper, matching the cool windy breeze.
"Not yet? See! This what i'm talking about...the confusion...its sending me mad! It might be all fun to you, but it bloody isn't to me! Just spit it out man!"
Taking a deep breath, he looks me in the eyes. "I'm going to tell the boys about us...being together...as a couple...that we're in love..."
Suddenly, there's a faint buzzing sound in my ears by Robbie's words. My eyes widen as my heart rate increases. "N...no...you can't...not yet...please."
"Just think about it... once its out in the open we're free. No more sneaking around, we can do all this in public...well minus the sex in public..." He sniggers at his own joke. "...And we can finally share a bed for the rest of this holiday without a care in the world...also it gets koala boy off me during the night..."
"...You're forgetting about the lads feelings, Rob. What if they take it the wrong way? We're like brothers and we've kept something like this from them? I can't loose them...they're the best friends i've ever had...and i'm not just saying that."
"So what, you'd sooner loose me over them?"
My jaw drops slightly. "Are you kidding me? Are you really going down that route? You have done the whole 'Its either Gary or me' to Mark in the frigging nineties, don't you dare do that to me!"
Once dressed and presentable again, i stand to my feet feeling incredibly annoyed. "Gaz... wait..." Sliding his clothes up his partly naked body, he takes a grip to my bicep. "I didn't mean it like that... well i did... but you know what i'm like...right? Always putting my foot in it..." Shyly he smiles, his face almost begs for me to hold him, to tell him everything is going to be ok. "...So...what do you say? Tomorrow...we confess?"
The only noise which can be heard is the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks, as Robbie coils an arm around my shoulder. Thinking over and over again about what has just been said, i almost loose my balance over the thought of confessing. "N...no..." Softly i mumble. Over thinking this is just going to make me ill, i know it is. "...I...I need time...to think..." Folding my arms, i move towards the direction of the rocks which i climbed up earlier. "...I'll give you a knock tomorrow...maybe...i need to sleep on this..."
"Gary...please? Come on mate? Don't leave after a night we've just had."
"S...Sorry..." Not looking back or saying anything, that's how the night ends.
--------------------------------------
Robbie's POV
"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" Mark slides his wallet into his back pocket of his colourful blue shorts.
"I'm going to be fine, just bring me back some painkillers for this head... those sodding shorts of yours aren't doing me any favours... my head is spinning from this migraine!" I complain, whilst laying in bed feeling sorry for myself.
"Alright... i'll see what i can do." Shuffling towards the bedroom door, he sympathetically smiles at me. Gently my fingers stroke against my temples, as i squint my eyes staring at the bright blue shorts which are partly covering his slightly tanned legs. "I wont be long."
"Mhmmuh..." Is all i'm able to mumble once Mark sneaks through the crack in the door, closing it behind him, leaving me alone. Finally.
I must of dozed off for a few minutes, because the next thing i know is i hear the door opening again. "Back already?" Stretching my arms above my head, my fingers comb through my chest hair, still feeling a buzzing, niggling pain still inside my head. "Mark? Come on no jokes...my head is still killing me..." My eyes glue shut by yawning a little too loud, almost covering the voice which speaks.
"What's the matter with your head?" He speaks, instantly causing my eyes to snap open by the sound. Clinging to the door handle, stands Gary, with his head poking around the door frame. "Oh god... you look awful..." Looking incredibly concerned, without hesitation he swiftly makes his way over to the bed, placing a hand onto my sweating forehead. "You're burning up!" Gary yelps, by the feel of me.
"Gary..." Calmly i smile, wrapping my fingers around his wrist. "I'm fine, honest. I've got a migraine, but thankfully Mark's gone to get me something to fix that. The sweaty forehead doesn't have anything to do with that, its all these bloody covers Mark's wrapped me up in, that's why I'm sweating."
"Maybe...its a good idea that we take you to a doctor...just to be on the safe side?" Already he spins on his heels heading back outside, until i tug him back into my direction.
"Will you just stop fussing? I can tell you've spent time with Mark over the years, jeez its like twins!" Playfully i roll my eyes, moving my legs aside to allow Gary to take a seat on the bed with me.
"I'm sorry its just-"
"...You're worried about me... and i do appreciate it Gaz... but i don't want you getting worked up over things which don't need to." Happily i sigh, shaking his shoulder gently. "Now... how are you?"
"Been better i guess... hardly slept, but that's nothing new..."
"My fault that is..." Pouting my lips, i glance away from Gary, feeling annoyed with myself.
"Don't be hard on yourself, Rob..." He strokes my knee through the layers of blankets. "It needed to be said... and I'm glad you didn't keep it from me...I don't like waking up in the mornings to find myself alone in bed...I guess that was something you pointed out to me last night..."
Turning my head back into his direction, my eyes lock onto his noticing, his half smile spreading across his face. "Come here...i could do with a cuddle from my favourite man..." Pulling back the duvet, i pat the empty space beside me in bed. Once Gary's kicked his flip flops off, he joins me. "Mmm... i feel better already..." Nuzzling my face against the crook of his neck, i inhale his heavenly scent which almost acts like medicine.
"Maybe i could look after you...?" Running his fingers through the strands of my fringe, he plants soft trails of kisses against my temples. Bringing my lips into contact with his skin, i kiss along his light stubble cheeks, nibbling along his jawline.
"I would love that..." Peacefully i whisper against my wet trail on Gary's cheek. Staring into one anothers eyes, it doesn't take long until our lips begin to work in sync. Without delay we dive into a passionate kiss, causing the pair of us to moan, feeling as if we haven't kissed in a decade. Gary's hand snakes up my chest, swirling his fingers around my darkened hair. His fingertips work like magic, fixing my empty heart. With one turn, Gary suddenly lands on top of me, his knee rests into between my parted legs which are still covered. Our noses press together after Gary abruptly ends the kiss. My hands rest onto his hips, whilst the room fills with our heavy breathing from our moment of passionate kissing. "G...Gary..." Panting a little, my eyes remain fixed on his. "Gary...I...I-"
"Rob? I'm back!" Mark's voice echoes in the kitchen. Both me and Gary look at one another in horror. Its feels as if I'm frozen, actually frozen from shock.
"Shit!" Gary mouths, as his eyes skirt down to his visible bulge in the front of his shorts. Frantically my eyes look around the bare room for a place for Gary to hide, with Mark just seconds away from opening the bedroom door, catching us in action. "T...the bed... get under the bed..." I whisper as quiet as possible. Mark closes the front door, which is Gary's to cue to jump onto the floor, before rolling under the middle of the bed. Just as Gary disappears under the bed with me watching his moves, the bedroom door opens.
"Oh, you're still awake?" A cheerful look enters his face, whilst he makes his way over to the bed, carrying a white plastic bag. "It took forever trying to find the right things, but i did the best i could."
Still in shock, i shake my head trying to act as normal as i possibly can. "T...Thanks mate..." Taking a deep breath, i open the bag to find a rectangular yellow box inside.
"You still look a little peaky...maybe a good sleep would help?"
Gulping a mouthful of water, i wash down one of the small white tablets, then followed by another. "Nah, i'm feeling much better."
"Are you sure?"
Nodding my head in response to Mark's question, sneakily i tug a bit more of the duvet down the side of the bed. "Yes..."
"Oh...well... in that case, i was wondering if i could have a chat with you?"
Lifting my head by the sudden change in Mark's voice, my eyes are drawn to the serious look on Mark's face. You can sense something a mile off which isn't right when Mark is acting serious and not his normal hyper or cheerful self.
"Oh?"
"...And Gary..."
Swallowing hard by the use of Gary's name, i bend my toes under the duvet which are out of sight from Mark's view. I can feel myself start to burn up again, but this time not over the fact that i'm wrapped up in these thick coated blankets. "G...Gary? Is there a problem? I haven't spoken to him since...e...er...ye...yesterday?" Who am i kidding? I couldn't fool a child with my lies.
"Yeah...me either, but i guess... he's probably avoiding me...i mean why else would someone hide under our bed for no reason..." My entire body freezes once again. Did i just hear right?! The room drops into a silent mode, the tension is thick enough to be cut with a knife. He knows. He actually knows about me and Gary. The look on his face gives me the impression that I've upset him with my lies.
"Alright...no need to bite my head off..." Quietly i mutter, whilst smarting myself up again, moving slightly out of contact from Robbie.
"S...sorry...i've just had a lot on my mind...and-"
"You've had a lot on your mind? Well what exactly have you had on your mind which i haven't?"
Robbie lifts his eyebrow swiftly, surprised over my interruption. "Well... i don't want to sneak around anymore, Gary." Without hesitation, he blurts out.
Studying his face for a smile to show that he's playing around as always, i blink my eyes at his serious facial expression. "What do you mean by that? This 'sneaking' around is the only thing helping us spend time together. Unless you don't want to spend time together on this holiday?"
"Hey!" Robbie immediately takes both of my hands in his, the warmth of his palms stroking against the tops of my hands. "Now that isn't true, there's no other place i want to be, other than being with you...you know that."
"What is it then? Things are just getting confusing now... why all this tonight? Was it for a certain reason? Have...Have you done something? Is that why you were trying to sweeten me, so its easier to break the news?"
Robbie shakes his head, taking a tighter grip to my hands. "No...not yet..." His voice quietens, almost turning into a soft whisper, matching the cool windy breeze.
"Not yet? See! This what i'm talking about...the confusion...its sending me mad! It might be all fun to you, but it bloody isn't to me! Just spit it out man!"
Taking a deep breath, he looks me in the eyes. "I'm going to tell the boys about us...being together...as a couple...that we're in love..."
Suddenly, there's a faint buzzing sound in my ears by Robbie's words. My eyes widen as my heart rate increases. "N...no...you can't...not yet...please."
"Just think about it... once its out in the open we're free. No more sneaking around, we can do all this in public...well minus the sex in public..." He sniggers at his own joke. "...And we can finally share a bed for the rest of this holiday without a care in the world...also it gets koala boy off me during the night..."
"...You're forgetting about the lads feelings, Rob. What if they take it the wrong way? We're like brothers and we've kept something like this from them? I can't loose them...they're the best friends i've ever had...and i'm not just saying that."
"So what, you'd sooner loose me over them?"
My jaw drops slightly. "Are you kidding me? Are you really going down that route? You have done the whole 'Its either Gary or me' to Mark in the frigging nineties, don't you dare do that to me!"
Once dressed and presentable again, i stand to my feet feeling incredibly annoyed. "Gaz... wait..." Sliding his clothes up his partly naked body, he takes a grip to my bicep. "I didn't mean it like that... well i did... but you know what i'm like...right? Always putting my foot in it..." Shyly he smiles, his face almost begs for me to hold him, to tell him everything is going to be ok. "...So...what do you say? Tomorrow...we confess?"
The only noise which can be heard is the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks, as Robbie coils an arm around my shoulder. Thinking over and over again about what has just been said, i almost loose my balance over the thought of confessing. "N...no..." Softly i mumble. Over thinking this is just going to make me ill, i know it is. "...I...I need time...to think..." Folding my arms, i move towards the direction of the rocks which i climbed up earlier. "...I'll give you a knock tomorrow...maybe...i need to sleep on this..."
"Gary...please? Come on mate? Don't leave after a night we've just had."
"S...Sorry..." Not looking back or saying anything, that's how the night ends.
--------------------------------------
Robbie's POV
"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" Mark slides his wallet into his back pocket of his colourful blue shorts.
"I'm going to be fine, just bring me back some painkillers for this head... those sodding shorts of yours aren't doing me any favours... my head is spinning from this migraine!" I complain, whilst laying in bed feeling sorry for myself.
"Alright... i'll see what i can do." Shuffling towards the bedroom door, he sympathetically smiles at me. Gently my fingers stroke against my temples, as i squint my eyes staring at the bright blue shorts which are partly covering his slightly tanned legs. "I wont be long."
"Mhmmuh..." Is all i'm able to mumble once Mark sneaks through the crack in the door, closing it behind him, leaving me alone. Finally.
I must of dozed off for a few minutes, because the next thing i know is i hear the door opening again. "Back already?" Stretching my arms above my head, my fingers comb through my chest hair, still feeling a buzzing, niggling pain still inside my head. "Mark? Come on no jokes...my head is still killing me..." My eyes glue shut by yawning a little too loud, almost covering the voice which speaks.
"What's the matter with your head?" He speaks, instantly causing my eyes to snap open by the sound. Clinging to the door handle, stands Gary, with his head poking around the door frame. "Oh god... you look awful..." Looking incredibly concerned, without hesitation he swiftly makes his way over to the bed, placing a hand onto my sweating forehead. "You're burning up!" Gary yelps, by the feel of me.
"Gary..." Calmly i smile, wrapping my fingers around his wrist. "I'm fine, honest. I've got a migraine, but thankfully Mark's gone to get me something to fix that. The sweaty forehead doesn't have anything to do with that, its all these bloody covers Mark's wrapped me up in, that's why I'm sweating."
"Maybe...its a good idea that we take you to a doctor...just to be on the safe side?" Already he spins on his heels heading back outside, until i tug him back into my direction.
"Will you just stop fussing? I can tell you've spent time with Mark over the years, jeez its like twins!" Playfully i roll my eyes, moving my legs aside to allow Gary to take a seat on the bed with me.
"I'm sorry its just-"
"...You're worried about me... and i do appreciate it Gaz... but i don't want you getting worked up over things which don't need to." Happily i sigh, shaking his shoulder gently. "Now... how are you?"
"Been better i guess... hardly slept, but that's nothing new..."
"My fault that is..." Pouting my lips, i glance away from Gary, feeling annoyed with myself.
"Don't be hard on yourself, Rob..." He strokes my knee through the layers of blankets. "It needed to be said... and I'm glad you didn't keep it from me...I don't like waking up in the mornings to find myself alone in bed...I guess that was something you pointed out to me last night..."
Turning my head back into his direction, my eyes lock onto his noticing, his half smile spreading across his face. "Come here...i could do with a cuddle from my favourite man..." Pulling back the duvet, i pat the empty space beside me in bed. Once Gary's kicked his flip flops off, he joins me. "Mmm... i feel better already..." Nuzzling my face against the crook of his neck, i inhale his heavenly scent which almost acts like medicine.
"Maybe i could look after you...?" Running his fingers through the strands of my fringe, he plants soft trails of kisses against my temples. Bringing my lips into contact with his skin, i kiss along his light stubble cheeks, nibbling along his jawline.
"I would love that..." Peacefully i whisper against my wet trail on Gary's cheek. Staring into one anothers eyes, it doesn't take long until our lips begin to work in sync. Without delay we dive into a passionate kiss, causing the pair of us to moan, feeling as if we haven't kissed in a decade. Gary's hand snakes up my chest, swirling his fingers around my darkened hair. His fingertips work like magic, fixing my empty heart. With one turn, Gary suddenly lands on top of me, his knee rests into between my parted legs which are still covered. Our noses press together after Gary abruptly ends the kiss. My hands rest onto his hips, whilst the room fills with our heavy breathing from our moment of passionate kissing. "G...Gary..." Panting a little, my eyes remain fixed on his. "Gary...I...I-"
"Rob? I'm back!" Mark's voice echoes in the kitchen. Both me and Gary look at one another in horror. Its feels as if I'm frozen, actually frozen from shock.
"Shit!" Gary mouths, as his eyes skirt down to his visible bulge in the front of his shorts. Frantically my eyes look around the bare room for a place for Gary to hide, with Mark just seconds away from opening the bedroom door, catching us in action. "T...the bed... get under the bed..." I whisper as quiet as possible. Mark closes the front door, which is Gary's to cue to jump onto the floor, before rolling under the middle of the bed. Just as Gary disappears under the bed with me watching his moves, the bedroom door opens.
"Oh, you're still awake?" A cheerful look enters his face, whilst he makes his way over to the bed, carrying a white plastic bag. "It took forever trying to find the right things, but i did the best i could."
Still in shock, i shake my head trying to act as normal as i possibly can. "T...Thanks mate..." Taking a deep breath, i open the bag to find a rectangular yellow box inside.
"You still look a little peaky...maybe a good sleep would help?"
Gulping a mouthful of water, i wash down one of the small white tablets, then followed by another. "Nah, i'm feeling much better."
"Are you sure?"
Nodding my head in response to Mark's question, sneakily i tug a bit more of the duvet down the side of the bed. "Yes..."
"Oh...well... in that case, i was wondering if i could have a chat with you?"
Lifting my head by the sudden change in Mark's voice, my eyes are drawn to the serious look on Mark's face. You can sense something a mile off which isn't right when Mark is acting serious and not his normal hyper or cheerful self.
"Oh?"
"...And Gary..."
Swallowing hard by the use of Gary's name, i bend my toes under the duvet which are out of sight from Mark's view. I can feel myself start to burn up again, but this time not over the fact that i'm wrapped up in these thick coated blankets. "G...Gary? Is there a problem? I haven't spoken to him since...e...er...ye...yesterday?" Who am i kidding? I couldn't fool a child with my lies.
"Yeah...me either, but i guess... he's probably avoiding me...i mean why else would someone hide under our bed for no reason..." My entire body freezes once again. Did i just hear right?! The room drops into a silent mode, the tension is thick enough to be cut with a knife. He knows. He actually knows about me and Gary. The look on his face gives me the impression that I've upset him with my lies.
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