Chapter 10

"Erm...d...do you want to...come back...for a coffee?" Nervously Gary buckles his seat belt before starting the engine of the car.
"Yeah it's a good idea we go back to yours... you wont see the light of day with my rubbish!" I joke squeezing his knee slightly. "Tonight's been lovely, Gaz. I haven't been out in ages... i've really enjoyed it.. thank you." Gently i plant a kiss onto his cheek. Keeping my lips there for a brief moment i brush them against his light stubble allowing the warmth of my breath to make contact with his now burning cheek. "Red suits you..." Quietly i whisper against his ear. He clears his throat quickly and puts both hands onto the staring wheel.
"Um... n...no problem..erm..Rob... we better head back...its...its getting late." I haven't seen Gary act like this before its sweet to see him all shy for a change.
"Lets..."
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"How many sugars Rob?" Gary's voice echoes around my ears from the kitchen.
"Two please, mate." I reply looking around his living room it feels like i'm in a museum! True Gary Barlow style everything neat, tidy and expensive. My wondering eyes soon leave the price procession ornaments once a staggering Gary enters the room carefully carrying two mugs of steaming coffee. "Thanks, Gaz." He places it in front of me on the glass coffee table with a coaster underneath - of course.
"No problem..." He seems to be a bit edgy this evening i thought him telling me the things he's kept inside for so long would do him good? The atmosphere becomes awkward as we sit in silence the only sound which can be heard is a clock on the living room wall and some cars outside.
"So..."
Gary watches the steam leave his mug as his finger circles around the rim of it. "Sorry if i'm boring you."
"Eh? I thought everything was ok now it's out in the open?"
"Until the papers get their stamp on it all... i'm going to be a laughing stock again... i don't want to drag you down with me..." He mutters under his breath whilst putting his mug back on the coaster. "I'm sorry..." Clearly he's overthinking which is just creating problems which aren't needed. He strokes his temples with his index fingers and cradles his face with his hands.

"Hey... don't be like this..." Feeling partly guilty seeing him like this i walk over to join him on the empty space on the sofa. "Come on... everything's going to be ok... you know that..." Softly i stroke his back before tightly wrapping my arm around his shoulder. "You need to stop thinking about people who have nothing to do with any of this... you need to think about your feelings... i'm not having you ill with worry over anything..." Slowly Gary lifts his head running his fingers down his cheeks studying my face for a couple of seconds.
"Y...you...really do care about me... don't... you?"
"Of course i do Gary i lo- you're my best friend... i've missed you..." Running my fingers through his hair i rest his head against my chest. "No ones going to hurt or upset you Gary... i'm going to protect you...no matter what." His eyes look up at me from my chest and a very faint smile curls at the corners of his lips.
"T...t...thank you...no ones ever said that to me before..."
"I mean it..." The breathless whisper swirls around the living room as we stare into one anothers eyes. Staring at Gary's face brings the butterflies back into my stomach almost like i've turned back into my teenage years. He's really someone special to me, and i hope one day he understands it. My hand rests against his chest feel his heart beat increase rapidly it almost falls out of his chest.
"Rob..." The back of his hand strokes my cheek turning me into a purring cat just from his touch which is so gentle and calming. We move closer to each other, and it's not long before our lips are pressed firmly together. The fireworks spark again feeling him stroke along my stomach and waist band of my trousers. Breathing a sigh of relief as i finally feel him surrender to what his feelings want.

Our lips collide more and more passionate each time as we work in sync. "Gaz..." Panting slightly i press my forehead against his feeling the sweat on his forehead connect to mine. His eyes look deep into mine which show the message exactly as my head is telling me. "S...should...we...erm..." Surprisingly he nods in response understanding what i'm about to say even though i haven't fully said it yet. He takes my hand with his thumb stroking along the top of it, as a calm smile appears on his face. We both stand to our feet not breathing a word as we make our way to the stairs.
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It's the first time i've seen Gary's bedroom, but there's no time to have a nose around... well not this time there isn't. As soon as Gary closes the door my lips plunge onto his not wanting to miss his addictive kisses for too long. My hands claw at the expensive suit he's wearing although he doesn't seem to mind nor care that i've accidentally torn three buttons from his shirt due to the heat of the moment. Walking me backwards as i continue to unbutton his shirt and tie i fall onto the bed pulling Gary on top of me with a grunt and a giggle he starts off another passionate kiss. "I...I...I.. love...you..." Panting heavier i try and find his eyes through the darkness of the room.
"Kiss me..." Gary's fingers begin to work on the buttons of my shirt now. Doing as he says i obey his instructions, as my tongue demands entry between his thin slick lips. Without hesitation he parts them enough for my tongue to slide through and explore his mouth.

After 15 minutes every item of our clothing ends up in a pile on the floor, as we just lay side by side on the bed completely naked. Gary smiles softly staring at me with his head resting against his bicep with his hand stroking my chest hair. Who would of thought after everything me and Gary have been through it would lead to this. "I...i don't....want... to push you..." My thumb circles the small patch of his blond chest hair as we continue to lay together. Gary bows his head a little sliding his hand from my chest hair and to my collar bone.
"M...M..maybe... i'm not...ready...for...you know..." The tone drops in his voice into a more disappointed speech.
A finger rests under his chin bringing his eyes back into contact with mine. "And i don't want to push you into anything Gaz... nothing you don't feel ready for or comfortable with.."
"B...but... i want... i want to... it's just... isn't there... another way?" Swallowing hard his eyes scan down from my eyes towards the lower part of my body.
"Maybe there is..." Slowly trailing my fingers from his chest they snake down past his navel towards his groin. Gary's eyes stretch from my touch with my other hand i twist my fingers in his hair relaxing him as i begin to form a fist around his semi hard erection.
"O...o...oh..." He speaks in a shaky breath feeling a little uneasy and unsure at first. Very slowly i move my fist against him, as he begins to relax even more resting his head into the pillows.
"Sssh..." After each thrust i slowly increase my fist watching the smudge of enjoyment start to appear on his face.

Not expecting it i feel the exact same do the same to me. A loose grip forms around my erection gently squeezing. Looking pleased with himself he softly strokes along the full length of me trying to catch up to the speed of my work. Muting our moans we forcefully press our lips together again having the pleasure swirl around our heads. I've had this done to me so many times before, but the way Gary does it out shines all the others. It's his touch, so soft, delicate and pleasurable at the same time. Our tongues crash together fighting as our fists increase in speed. Feeling myself harden even more i grip the bottom of my lip noticing Gary leak slightly onto my palm with a loud groan i push the back of my head deeper into the pillows unable to control myself any longer, as i finally release onto Gary's stomach. A few minutes later Gary copies me expect instead of releasing onto my stomach he shoots his load into my fist. "Oooh fuck..." Collapsing of exhaustion i close my eyes panting for my breath back. The pillow sags a little as Gary drops his head backwards onto it.
"Woah...." He mumbles.

Chapter 9

{A week had passed since Gary let his emotions go in front of Robbie for the first time. Still feeling unsure about his feelings Gary's decided to invite Robbie out for dinner...just the two of them. The new Take That album is partly written since the talk Robbie's recorded all of his parts... well of course he has he wants to get on Gary's good side especially over the fact they could now possibly have a relationship... Although Gary has some 'secrets' of his own to tell Robbie over dinner finally finding the courage to do so after all these years....}

Shit i'm running late! Knocking back my coffee it burns my tongue which causes me to spill it down my clean white ironed shirt. "This can't be happening!" Hearing the sound of a car bleep outside completely knocks me off guard whilst bending down to reach for another shirt from my pile of clothes i hit the side of my head against the coffee table. "OUCH!" I call out gripping above my eyebrow which begins to drip with blood. Why is everything going wrong? Tonight of all nights! The car horn sounds again without bothering to iron the new shirt i quickly throw it on myself along with half a roll of toilet paper for my wound. Taking a sharp intake of air i lock my door before jogging down the corridor to find Gary outside.

What feels like i've just run down a hundred flights of stairs i finally reach the bottom feeling the cold crisp air blow against my flushed cheeks. Gary sits outside the block of flats in a black Audio drumming his fingers against the staring wheel. He's smartly dressed seeing him wearing a black suit jacket, black tie and smart white shirt. Great. Bet he's going to love going on a date with a scruff. Why am i even bothering what chance do i have with Gary... Gary Barlow of all men. Turning on my heels i head back inside the entrance of the flats, until i hear a voice call which stops me. "Rob! Come on lad." Peering over to where the voice sounds from, Gary leans out of the drivers side of the car door grinning in my direction. That grin alone sends shivers through my whole body.
"O...Oh hi Gaz... i was just going to get changed... i dropped coffee on my other shirt... and well..."
"Don't be daft you look fine. Get in or we're going to be late." I can't help but to smile. No matter what's been said in the past week Gary's a great person when you're feeling down he boosts your confidence up when it's needed.

I open the door of the passenger side before sitting down. "How are-.... jeeez what happened to your head?!" Gary turns the side of my head looking at the deep graze i made on the coffee table just minutes ago.
"Ow..." I whimper from the bruised skin being touched by Gary's finger. "I....dropped coffee down myself... then the car horn made me jump...whilst bending down..."

"Oh gosh Rob... This is all my fault.. I thought you'd fallen asleep that's why I was pressing my horn... Are you feeling ok?" Seeing the concern and smudge of worry showing on Gary's face warms my stomach.
"I'm fine...much better...now..." Gently i move my hand on top of his which rests on the side of my face. Neither of us move out of contact for about a minute.
 "S..Should..we...erm...get going?" Gary nervously pulls his hand from my face and back onto the staring wheel.
"Yes..."
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It took longer than I thought, but it sure looks worth it. I'm definitely under dressed for this it's like a place where Elton John would throw a party. "Erm...won't people see us? Together?" I raise my eyebrow watching Gary get out of the car handing the keys over to a younger gentleman.
"So what if they do? Two friends having dinner together isn't a crime." He shrugs off a wink to me and a half smile. Feeling a little silly i also get out of the car walking over to Gary. Both of his thumbs are rested into his pockets he almost looks like a magazine clothing model. My palm begins to twitch demanding for Gary's touch against it. He slings a weightless arm over my shoulder as we start to make our way inside. Even though this is just a friendly dinner to have a chat over a meal i still class it as a date in my mind.

Once we get inside a waiter instantly shows us to our table. Beautiful view onto the gardens outside which the chandelier shines against the window lighting up the whole of it. "Wow... impressive Mr Barlow... i must admit." Glancing around the room i notice a few familiar faces like Dermot O'Leary who's sitting at a table the opposite side of the room with his wife engaged in conversation.
"I use to go here a few years back. It's a bit more private no paps lurking around." Gary hangs his suit jacket over the back of the chair whilst reaching for a menu. "So what do you fancy to eat?" Wiping a few formed sweat droplets from my forehead with my thumb i hold back my thought of 'i wouldn't mind eating you', but sadly Gary's not on the menu tonight.
"Erm.. just something light... not really hungry ..." Mumbling softly to myself i scroll down the menu. The main reason why i came along today was to talk not to eat, and with the thought of what Gary's going to say makes me nervous putting me off eating anyway.
"Come on mate it's my treat. You like steak right? I think i might have the steak they do it just how i like it here." Gary waves the waiter over.
"But i-" There's no point in arguing it's too late Gary's already ordered. Besides there's no need arguing about food we've got better things to talk about.

 "So...?" Playing with the neatly placed napkin sitting in front of me i run my index finger and thumb against it acting like a shy school girl. Gary clears his throat pouring himself a glass of vintage red wine sitting in an ice bucket beside our table.
"Do you want a drink?" He points to the bottle of fizzy water next to him on the table.
"It's ok i can do it..." Reaching out for the bottle our hands touch one anothers. The warmth coming from the top of his hand completely knocks out the coldness of the bottle. My hand sits peacefully over Gary's for at least 5 seconds until he pulls away, anxiously looking around at the other tables. Ignoring his reaction i pour myself half a glass of fizzy water before sipping it to hide my thoughts. He really needs to have more confidence.
"How...how are you?" Gary finally breaks the silence, as the food arrives. Wow. Is this for the five thousand or just for me and Gary? Different colours of vegetables fill the plate like a paint pallet, also the side of the plate is a small scoop of mash potato, and finally in the centre sits a sizzling steak which spits a little onto my shirt feeling a twinge of hot oil soak through it and onto my skin.
"N...not bad.... you?" Blinking a few times still surprised at the amount of food sitting in front of me i drain the last of my water.

Gary shrugs stabbing his fork into the steak controlling the hissing which it releases. "Been better i suppose... heads a bit foggy, but it's understandable."
"What do you mean? Is it my fault?" A slight nudge of guilt enters my body. Gary looks knackered maybe i've been playing around with his head making him lose sleep.
"Don't be silly course not... i mean... i over think... a lot... ask Mark..."
"Mark easily picks up on these things... do you want to talk about them at all?" Cutting a piece of the steak i place it into my mouth. A range of flavours fill my mouth. It's perfectly cooked just the way i like it medium rare.
"Well.... that's the point of this dinner...." Gary almost hums the words as plays around with the vegetables on his plate. For some reason his facial expression tells me he's lost his appetite.
"Oh... well... i'm all ears."
Gary takes a quiet sharp in take of breath before resting his fork at the side of the plate laying his chin onto his hands. "I haven't been... entirely honest... with you anyway..."
"What do you mean by that? I have done something to upset you again?"
"Rob please... just stop.... stop making out you're the bad guy... you haven't done anything." It feels like Gary's words glue my lips together.
"S...sorry.... please explain?" I continue eating my food as an excuse to stop me from annoying Gary with my apologises every five seconds.
"The whole me and you thing... you must of realised... things about me the first time around..." Confusion feels my face by what he's trying to hint at.
"I...I don't understand?"

Rubbing his finger tips against his eyelids, Gary searches for the right words with rest on the tip of his tongue. "Rob... don't play games... i don't have the patience for these sort of things."
"Gary...i...i'm being serious i don't understand what you're talking about? Sure we got along the first time around even though we had our disagreements which spiralled out of control, but anyone-"
"I don't mean that." Gary cuts in. "The songs... the songs i wrote... the songs i wrote.... about... about you..." He swallows hard burying his face into his palms. For a moment i sit there watching him breath steadily into his hands hiding his face from embarrassment. Gary wrote songs... about me? Since when?!
"W...what?"
"You're really telling me you never knew? It was clear they were about you Rob... everything i did was about or for you..."

Words fail to leave my lips from shock. Am i really hearing this? Or am i only hearing what i want to hear? "I never...erm... re...really?" Pushing away my half eaten plate suddenly like Gary, i've lost my appetite.
"Pathetic really... Howard asked a few times who they were about, but i was  22 years old... i wasn't going to admit i had feelings for another guy... especially not my band mate..." He sighs hiding his face against his hands again i can feel the tension and pressure he's feeling it's that strong you can almost cut it with a knife.
"F...feelings....for me? You had feelings for me?! Why didn't you tell me?!" I reply with a slight annoyance in my voice. After all these years Gary's been feeling the exact same i've felt about him. Yet he chose to ignore it for the protection of his embarrassment and image.
"You were the cool one in the band. I was the geeky stuck up one who got everything he wanted and got everything to go his way. If i told you this at the time i had the feeling you would laugh in my face 'the gay fat blond lead singer of the band' would be plastered all over the papers wouldn't he? Mentally i couldn't go through with that... i would of walked away from the band... changed my name or something. Live a new life completely.
"Wow..." My eyes stretch from what Gary's said. Does he really think i'm that shallow? That hurtful to him? Yes i've said some unforgivable things about him in the past, but never would i laugh at him for having the same thoughts about me. Even if i didn't feel the same way i wouldn't of acted like that. "I... i don't what to say..."
"Not like you to be speechless..." He tries to pull off a joke trying to break the tension which continues to fill the room coming from the pair of us. "If you want to leave... you can... just seriously forget what i've said tonight... i blame the wine."
"You always blame the wine... you've only had a glass...even if you was drunk... they say people are more honest that way... i guess you're like that without drinking yourself into an oblivion...we should of been honest with one another... who knew what things could of been like now if we were..."
"Yeah..." Softly a smile appears onto Gary's face also a hint of regret shows. It's like a ray of light at the end of a dark tunnel seeing his smile, finally i start to feel more relaxed again seeing it.
"Would you like a-" Before i get chance to fill his glass the wine bottle slides out of my hand from the icy water which causes me to drop it into Gary's lap. Instantly he jumps out of his seat patting down the droplets of wine which run down his trousers. "Shit, shit, shit... i'm sorry Gaz!" Quickly i grab our napkins dabbing his trousers whist i kneel in front of him. Gary just stands there watching me try my best at attempting to stop the wine from staining his trousers. Slowly my eyes travel up to his face whilst i remain on my knees.
"W...Would you like to go home?" He speaks calmly faintly brushing off a smile as he looks down into my eyes. Biting my lip slightly i scrunch up the red wine stained napkin replying with a nod.

Chapter 8

After 2 hours i finally pull myself together. Sod him. I'm not going to let him ruin the last part of my life. The only reason why i'm going to bother going down to the studio is for the other three of my friends. Not Gary he's made a message quite clear to me and i'm not going to break my heart over him not now anyway. Picking up my bag i swing it over my shoulder locking my front door behind me, as i head to the reception to ring for a taxi.

After a short drive the taxi drops me at the front of the studio. Jason sits with Howard on a small outdoor bench enjoying a chat and a few puffs of a cigarette. Taking a deep breathe collecting my thoughts i walk along the gravel which crunches under my feet. "And here's another grumpy one!" Jason playfully nudges Howard pointing into my direction.
"What?"
"You and Grumpy Gary in there. Both of you have a face like a smacked arse." Jason laughs. Howard studies my face he knows something's not right between me and Gary i can tell with the look he's giving me.
"O...oh no.. i'm great.. just some trouble with the neighbours that's all... are you coming in it's a bit cold out here and i wanna get back to work on some songs." Forcing out a smile i rub my hands together warming them up a little from the cold atmosphere.
"Come on." Howard flicks the end of his cigarette onto the floor before stepping on it. He wraps an arm around my shoulder as we begin to walk inside with Jason following close behind. "Mark was in there with him when we left getting told off for doing his high notes too high... like that makes sense... you know what Gary's like... 'mister perfect'." Howard jokes opening a black door at the end of the corridor unable to see through the glass seeing as it's frosted i don't have anymore time to prepare myself.
"Try it again, but this time not too high." Gary's voice echoes through the microphone on the recording desk. Mark stands inside the recording box with his head rested against a microphone mumbling under his breath from exhaustion. Gary must of kept him in there for at least a few hours rehearsing.
"My voice is gonna be buggered at this rate." Slowly he lifts his head catching us out the corner of his eye causing a smile to automatically appear. "Oh thank god you lot are back!" He walks out of the recording glass door to give me a friendly hug. "Alright Rob?"
"Y...Yeah thanks... Markie... how're you?" Even though i'm not looking over at Gary i can feel his eyes burning against the side of my head.
"Even better now you're here i'm dying for a ciggie...  me voice needs a rest... you're the only one who needs to do your parts... so good luck!" With a blink of an eye Mark grabs his hat, scarf, coat, gloves and a packet of Sterling Silver cigarettes from the table before disappearing outside.

Jason picks one of the acoustic guitars from a corner of the studio. "Have you got that track How?"
"Yeah should we give it a try? Gaz have you got the blank discs? We're gonna try Howard's harmonies on that track again in the green room."
"Dunno. Have a look for them." Gary replies in a snappy tired tone as he continues to play around with different effects on the switch board for Mark's track. "Fuck sake." Angrily he hits his fist against the wooden board stroking his forehead in frustration. Howard rolls his eyes opening the door for Jason who carries the guitar along with a bundle of wires.
"You can't leave me?" Following them out the door i whisper as quietly as i can. They can't leave me alone with Gary why he's in this mood. Things will just take another turn for the worst and this album with never happen.
"You'll be fine Rob. He's just moody over something he'll get over it. We're only next door and Mark won't be long either. Good luck with the tracks." Howard gives me a friendly pat on the shoulder, as both himself and Jason make their way next door. Great.

The quicker i do these tracks the quicker i can get out of here i think to myself building some confidence up whilst i make my way back into the room shutting the door behind me. "Didn't think you'd show." Gary speaks instant once the door closes. "You're good at that." Is he hinting about me not showing up to the press conference back when the band split? Why is he acting like this? I thought he changed.
"Mature." I walk over to one of the chairs opposite the recording box. "You haven't changed a bit... still self a centred jerk you was back in the nineties."
"I can't be doing with this just get on with your tracks, so i can get out of here." Gary reaches through a pile of blank discs, so he knew where they were then?
"Why are you being like this Gary? This isn't like you... well not how you acted the first few hours we were together." Gently i place my hand onto his wrist stopping him from  rummaging through the box of blank discs. Feeling my touch quickly Gary pulls away not allowing me to make contact with him. "Have i done something? Have i said something? This is driving me mad!"
"Just leave it Rob..." Quietly Gary  mutters under his breath cupping his face. He inhales a deep breathe and exhaling it into a sigh.
"No. I can't leave it. We were happy... i was actually happy... that was down to you why the sudden change out of the blue? Howard didn't catch us... even if he did i don't see the problem."
"Of course you don't see the problem! But i do! I'm not like you Rob... when i say 'i don't care' i do. I do care what people think of me... i just can't go through the talking.. the whispers... the everything... mentally i'm not strong for that quiet suffering again."

For a moment or two the room drops silent that's when his words sink in. "Y...You're...embarrassed?"
"You don't know what you're talking about. Just get in the recording box. I won't say it again Rob." Shaking my head my lips curl into a smile, but not a happy smile. "You're embarrassed about loving another man... aren't you? That's it isn't it?"
"NO! I don't love another man... i never have....not in that way...but that doesn't mean i have problems with men who are gay... i'm just not one of them."
"Stop lying to yourself... just admit it.... go on... admit it Gary Barlow... you have feeling for another man." Moving my hand to his tightly i grip it feeling his sweaty palm against mine. For a few seconds we sit with our hands locked together until he stands up breaking contact cupping his face again looking agitated.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?! You're making things ten times worse!" I can't let him slip away like this. He's hiding it. It's written all over his face and the way he's acting.
"Gary. Look at me." Standing to my feet i walk over to him taking hold of his arm to stop his frantic pacing. "Look. At. Me." My hands take hold of his pulling them slowly away from his face, so we make eye contact at last. A strike of panic fills his eyes as he looks into mine. "It's ok..." Speaking in a quiet breath i hold his hands in mine waist high. His eyes lower to take a look at our hands before wondering back to my face.

"I...I'm..." Gary bites the inside of his cheek whilst we continue to hold hands with about an inch gap inbetween our bodies.
"Go on..." I give his left hand a little comforting squeeze to show him it's ok. Everything will be ok. "You can do it Gaz... listen to your heart... it's me... Rob..." His breathing starts to increase a little and his forehead begins to sweat slightly.
"I...i'm...s...s..sorry..." Quietly he whispers with a shaky breath almost inaudible dropping his head.
"Huh? What did you say?" Tilting my head i try to make contact with his eyes again.
"I....I'm sorry! I'm sorry... everything... this is my fault... the things i've said... you didn't deserve that... i'm...i'm not being honest with myself...oh god my head is... i'm a mess..." Tears build in his eyes. For the first time in years i've seen Gary Barlow get emotional. Actually being on the edge of tears.
"Sssh... it's ok Gaz..." Pulling him closer i wrap my arms around his back gently stroking my palm up and down. He doesn't pull away instead he returns it burying his face against my arm. "Everything's going to be ok... i promise you...we can do this together...i promise..." He nods his head against me wrapping his arms even tighter around me. Softly i plant kisses in his slightly damp hair nuzzling my chin against his shoulder. "We're a team... Mr B..."

Chapter 7

My heart pounds against my chest i feel sick. "G...Gaz's? Why...why do you say that?" I try and laugh it off the best i can hiding my nerves.
"Because i saw him leave in it this morning... has he been round here?" Howard walks over to me i feel like a rabbit in head lights any second i'm going to get hit. "Rob? Why are you sweating? Are you sure you're ok?" He places a hand onto my shoulder frightening the life out of me.
"AH!" I jump a couple of inches backwards gripping tightly to the sugar pot. Howard's eyes widen with worry, as he continues to study my face. "S...s..sorry... i...erm.."
"Has something happened between you and Gary? Please don't tell me you've had a fight?" Thinking quickly i hatch up a plan right now this can't come out not even to our closest friends.

"N..no...nothing like that... honest... me and Gary.. we... we are better than ever."
"But... this is Gary's shirt... right?" He holds up the scrunched slightly damp shirt of Gary's in my view.
Softly i nod. "Y...yes... we...erm... shared a curry... and he dropped it down him...so i washed it..." My eyes continue to stare at the mugs i dare not give him eye contact seeing whether he believes my lie or not.
"So where is he now? Roaming the streets naked?" Howard laughs nudging my into the ribs a little whilst placing the shirt on the back of the sofa. Quietly i breathe a sigh of relief. Thank you God.

"No... he's borrowed one of mine... he went back to his place to get dressed... you know what mate i'm going to be another couple of hours, so you might as well take the lift yourself and i'll meet you all down there?" I give him a friendly smile wiping the sweat from my brow with my thumb. "Do you want your coffee still? I've got some of those plastic takeaway cups if you want to take it with you?"
"Sure... that'll be great thanks. Rob... you know if you ever need someone to talk to..." He pats my shoulder whilst i pour the coffee into the empty starbucks cup.
"Thanks man... i'll bare that in mind." I hand him the cup walking to the direction of the door. We both give one another a friendly hug before he finally leaves. Quickly i lock the front door jogging back to my bedroom. "Gaz...Gary...he's gone..." I whisper peering my head around the door searching for Gary through the darkness. After a few minutes i notice movement under my bed and out slides Gary wrapped in a blanket.
"Finally!" He mutters in an annoyed tone shuffling on his bare knees. "What took you so long?"
"I didn't want to be rude and throw him out...sorry." Sadly i pout wrapping my arms around his naked waist. Gary bows his head a little gently pushing my arms away. "Erh...are you ok?"

"Y...Yeah..." Using the palm of his hand he strokes his forehead a little looking agitated. Taking a few steps closer to him again i nuzzle my face into his slightly wet messy hair planting a couple of kisses onto his forehead. "D...don't...please..." Again Gary pushes me away.
"What's wrong?" I ask feeling confused over his new reaction to me. "Have i done something wrong?" Slowly Gary lifts his head giving me eye contact the brightness in his eyes seem to have faded into a much more dull coloured green.
"S...Sorry." Before i get chance to say anything else he quickly slides past me locking himself into the bathroom. What has gotten into him?!

"Gaz?" Within seconds he comes stumbling out of the bathroom fastening his shirt up the wrong way gripping to the locked door handle. "GAZ!"
"P...please... just open the door..." He doesn't even bother turning around which annoys me even more. "I've got to go."
"What's happened?! Why the sudden rush?"
Quietly he sighs running his hand through his fluffy hair. "I...I can't...do this..."
"Gary...i've told you already... i'm not after that. What can i do to make you believe me?!"
"No...no i don't...mean that... i mean... i mean us Rob... i'm sorry... i guess i was just rebounding off my recent relationship...i just missed the attention and you gave it to me... after almost getting caught it brought me back to reality... i'm sorry." After hearing his words my whole body freezes. He used me. He actually used me wanting attention. Never in my life has someone said that to me... and never in my life has someone just crushed my heart like that.

"So you regret it all? You just fucking used me? I can't believe you... i was actually happy for the first time in years!"
"Mate...listen... if you're gay i'm completely fine with it... it's just that... i'm not... i'm not gay."
"You could of fooled me." I mutter angrily under my breath. "I even started cleaning up this place hoping you'll come round and visit me more... i've lived in this dump for 6 months and since you came round i've been tidying here and there.." Gary's mouth drops a little hearing the word '6 months'. "Yeah, that's right i lied. Just to cover up the fact that i'm a sad middle aged man feeding off the happiness you've been given me, and now you've taken it all back! Do you know what just go... you're just as bad as everyone else!" Trying to hold the tears back i put the key into the lock opening the front door.
"R...Rob...wait... please...lets talk." Gary looks at me with  guilt spreading across his face. It feels like my heart has just sunk after what he just said to me.
"I thought you was better than this Gary Barlow! Just get out!" Pushing him out the door i quickly lock it again as i slowly slide down the door allowing my face to drop into my hands.