chapter 13

Robbie's POV

"Well this is nice isn't it? Five friends sat calmly around a table without any fighting." Jason smiles looking over into mine and Gary's direction mainly when he mentions fighting.
"Maybe we can do it more often before we begin touring? Would be nice to keep updated with everyone." Mark adds whilst reaching for a slice of pizza. "So... has anyone got anything they would like to share?"
"Mark, we're not at Pre-school." Howard laughs. "Besides i haven't got anything to share lately. Life's pretty boring." Glancing out the corner of my eye at Gary who sits a seat away from me he types something on his phone not paying attention. "What do you think the fans will think of the new album? It's different to what we usually write... will be interesting to know..." Gently i stroke my foot against Gary's shin causing him to flinch a little.
"I've asked a few people i know... they seem to like the demos."
"Who'd you ask Markie?" Jason raises his eyebrow whilst slipping off his tracksuit jacket.
"Just family... well i sent them to our Tracy and Daniel... but Mum likes them..." Shyly Mark smiles playing with his fingers. Jason and Howard erupt into laughter leaving me and Gary in our own world, as i slowly slide my chair closer to him. Gary tries to ignore my actions when he feels a finger circle around his knee cap. "Ay... leave Markie alone. At least we know we still have fans... even if they are our parents... better than none...right?" Gary smirks whilst placing his hand over my fingers under the table. Without making it obvious i slide away my fingers replacing it with my hand where i firmly hold Gary's.

"Gaz is right... i think it's cute." Smiling over to Mark i continue to watch Gary out the corner of my eye who gently squeezes my hand. Slowly my fingers skim the inside of Gary's thigh causing him to choke, as they stroke over the now visible bulge in his trousers. Using his free hand he tries to bat away my skillful fingers scolding me with a serious look. It hard to keep the laughter in when Gary's looking like this with the panic slowly filling his eyes. Moving my fingers over his bulge again i feel him twitch against my palm, as sweat builds on his forehead. Resisting the temptation of 'sorting Gary out' i move my hand back into his where it rests against his knee.
"Have we decided what our second single will be?" Mark brushes away his blushing cheeks by asking a question.
"I think Kidz should be the second single... it's more up beat isn't it? More like today's music in my opinion." Howard looks at each of us. Gary sucks his top lip nodding slightly thinking if it could work also trying to hide away his previous hidden moans.
"I agree. Kidz will be a hit!" Mark grins pleased that most of us agree that it should be only next single- only because he sings lead.
Laughing slightly i rub my thumb over the top of Gary's hand still under the table. "Is that because you sing lead, lad? Anyway i think Happy Now will be a bigger hit than Kidz..."
"Is that because you sing lead?" Mark quietly giggles from across the table.
"Absolutely!" The five of us fall about laughing. It feels great knowing how close we've grown especially me and Gary for obvious reasons.
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"Gaz, are you sure you don't want a lift back with us?" Mark holds a drunken Howard up against the wall who's completely out of his head.
"Nah, i'm fine thanks Marko. The taxi will be here soon i'll help Rob clear up for the time being." I watch the pair of them exchange a friendly hug from a distance. Mark's hand gently pats Gary's back exactly the way i do it. Both of their eyes are closed during the embrace until thankfully Howard interrupts with his slurred speech. "I love you guys!" He clings onto the pair of them almost knocking them to the floor.
"Erm... Jase... bit of help mate?" Mark calls towards the taxi where Jason's sat waiting. After a struggle involving a very drunk Howard, Jason and Mark safely secure him in the back of the taxi. The taxi starts to pull away, as they wave bye to Gary who's standing at the front door and me who's waving through the window. Once the taxi's out of sight Gary closes the front door, but before he does i walk into the hallway.
"Good night?" I ask smiling softly hiding away my slight jealous over Mark.
"Yeah wasn't bad... Dougie's going to have right killer hangover by morning isn't he?" Gary half smiles  whilst walking towards me.

"Sure you still want to stay over?" Coiling an arm around Gary's waist i rest my chin against his shoulder releasing a quiet sigh.
"Of course? Why wouldn't i?" Returning the hug he pulls me closer enough for the pair of us to feel one anothers steady heart beats. Rising my shoulders slightly i shrug without saying a word which is pretty foolish of me. There's no point trying to hide anything from Gary, he can read me like a book. "Rob... is everything ok? Have i done something to upset you?"
"N...No...Gaz.. it's fine honest..." My fingers play with the hair on the back of his neck. Why am i acting like this? Mark's my bestfriend it's quite clear that there's nothing between them. I'm just being childish.
"Rob... tell me." Gary pulls away from the hug studying my face, his cheerful smiles drops into a more serious blank expression. Running my hand through my hair taking a deep breath, for now i decide to keep my jealous thoughts to myself.
"It's just... er... you worried me tonight Gary. You took so long to arrive here... and before you tell me about the phone call to your Mum i know... it's just... a text wouldn't of hurt, right? And the fact that you rejected my call made me think that you decided not to come over...second thoughts maybe... i don't know why, but for some reason i keep thinking you're having second thoughts about all this... and i don't blame you if you are... i'm not the kindest...sweetest...most loving person on this planet or the-" My words get cut off by Gary's lips which cover mine preventing me from finishing my sentence. It only lasts for 3 or 4 seconds, but it still takes my breath away.
"I'm sorry for not texting you Rob... i really didn't think about the worry i was causing you... it was selfish of me, and the only reason why i rejected your call was because i was driving here i didn't want to risk getting caught by the cops whilst on my way otherwise i wouldn't of got here, and you need to stop bringing yourself down... you're starting to sound a lot like me. You're one of the most selfless... loving... funny... cute... handsome and caring men i know...i'm not having second thoughts...i wouldn't dream of having them." The back of his hand gently brushes against my now burning cheek. "...So please don't talk yourself down... it upsets me when you do... anyway... if you want me to go... i understand."

"Huh? Why? Do you want to leave?" My heart sinks over thinking the situation again. "....Have i upset you?"
"Only when you talk yourself you do... and no... i don't want to leave, but it seems i've done something wrong... i'm sorry if i have."
Wrapping my arms back around his waist i pull him closer again. "No... Gaz honest... i was just worried that's all.. please stay?" I look at him with pleading eyes. Gary's lips curl at the corner of his mouth turning into a friendly smile.
"Would love to..." Sliding his hands down my sides he grasps my hands.
"Shall...we...erm... go to bed?" Biting my bottom lip i grin nervously whilst holding his hands.
"Thought you'd never ask..."

chapter 12

Gary's POV

Panting for my breath back i rest against the cold tiled shower wall. Robbie carefully steps out from the shower turning off the water whilst wrapping a towel around his waist leaving me naked. "Erm... i...i think i'm clean...now."
"You look it." Robbie laughs holding out a towel into my direction. "But don't play innocent with me Barlow. I know you've had a blow job before in a shower..." His lips curl into a smile, as he wraps the towel around me.
"Eh? Have i?"
"Don't give me that." Again he laughs drying my skin on the white material. "Which one of the lads was it then? I don't mind, honest."
Feeling slightly confused by his assumption i raise my eyebrow. "Honest... i've never done this before... with anyone let alone one of the lads..."
"Oh...er...not...erm...Nigel...surly...right.?"
"Bloody hell Rob." Laughing a little i tightly tie the towel around my waist whilst making my way to the bedroom. "Give me some credit."
"Sorry...it's just that... you seem so relaxed about all this..." Robbie sits down on the bed dragging the duvet off.
Tilting my head over my right shoulder towards him i bite my lip a little. "There's a reason for that mate... you'll find out soon."
"Soon? Not now?" He asks playing the puppy eyed look at me, and opening his towel a little to reveal his bare chest trying to lure me in. Pushing away the temptation i snigger quietly.
"One day, Rob... one day you will." Shuffling over to the bed i sit beside him resting my head against his bicep. "What do you wanna do today?"

Robbie takes my hand in his placing it over his covered lap entwining our fingers together. "I was thinking... maybe we could invite the lads back to mine... have a bit of a get together? It's not long before the album goes on sale, so it will be nice to be together and have our own little party regardless of what the future chart position will be... just be together..."
"Who are you and what have you done with the real Robbie Williams?" I grin up at him rubbing my thumb over his knuckles.
"Cheeky git.... so...what do you say? Meet me at mine...say 6pm? I'll drop the others a text."
"You're going now? I thought you'd want to spend a bit of time together first?" Watching him walk over to his pile of clothes feeling my heart sink a little.
"I was going to ask... would you like to spend the night at mine... once they've left? Well it's not my place... actually i left that detail out, but it's my mate's. It's a lot bigger than my flat and tidier too. He's on holiday for the week leaving me the keys... what do you say?"
 "Wow... sounds good to me..." Happily i sigh reaching for another towel to dry my hair with. Robbie smiles relieved at my answer before walking back over to me. "Can't wait..." Gently he kisses my temple then firmly presses his lips over mine causing me to fall backwards onto the bed pulling him on top of me.

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Robbie's POV

6pm strikes on my watch and there's still no sign of Gary. "Did you give him the right address?" Howard laughs whilst downing another glass of champagne.
"Erh... yeah..." I sit down on the sofa beside Mark trying to hide my worry the best i can. I shouldn't make it too obvious we aren't even dating yet i can't ruin it before it starts.
"Howard stop worrying him. Don't worry Rob, Jason still hasn't arrived yet has he? They've probably gone and got some more drinks or food knowing them. They'll both be here soon." Mark squeezes my tensed shoulder.
"But if they aren't together... Gary's driving himself..." The pair of them look at me surprised over my worry all of a sudden about Gary, but i quickly brush it off. "...What am i talking about? Of course he'll be ok. It's Gary Barlow for gods sake." Forcefully i laugh reaching for my orange juice which sits on the coffee table in front of me. Very faintly there's a knock on the front door's glass. "Oh..."
"See. Told you." Mark winks at me gently patting me on the back. "Give 'em a good telling off Rob for worrying us."
"A good spank." Adds Howard giggling as he knocks back yet another glass of Champagne. The way he's going he'll be drunk before the night even starts.
"Erh... you guys can do the spankings. I'll get the door." Standing to my feet i make my way towards the hall mumbling under my breath. "I wouldn't mind giving Gaz a spank." Once i've neatened myself up in the mirror i open the front door with a grin which slightly fades when i realise it isn't Gary, but Jason holding a bottle of wine wrapped in a brown bag. "Oh...hi Jay."
"You were expecting me tonight...wasn't you?" Confused, he raises his eyebrow at me. Shaking my head a little i paint on a smile.
"Of course silly." We exchange a friendly hug as a welcome. Standing a little to the side i allow Jason to come in whilst i look behind him for anymore guests. "Gaz not with you?" I ask taking his coat from him trying not to sound too concerned that Gary still hasn't arrived yet.
"Afraid not mate. Maybe he's taken ill or something? I shouldn't worry it's not like Gary to be late he'll be here soon. Lads in there?" Jason points towards the living room area which has the door closed. Getting lost in my worried thoughts of Gary who could of possibly had a car accident on the way over here i just stare at the closed door.
"E...er...erh...yeah... go in..." Quietly i sigh to myself.
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7:12 pm

Over an hour has passed since Gary should of been due here and now i'm fully convinced that he's changed his mind about coming. The thoughts of him possibly being involved in a crash or accident has left my mind seeing as his phone got turned off whilst i was trying to ring him or should i say rejected. "When did you say the pizzas were getting here?" Jason asks rubbing his growling stomach.
"They said fifteen to twenty minutes. It's only round the corner i should really consider changing my takeaway venue. They never deliver on time." I frown my lips checking my phone incase there's a text which includes a good explanation from Gary.
"Maybe Gary kidnapped the pizza guy and stole our pizzas." Howard jokes who soon gets scolded by a Motherly telling off by Mark.
"Don't be awful Howard. You know how upset Gary gets about his weight."
"I wasn't hitting at his weight i was just saying about where the fuck have our pizzas got to?!"
"We don't need Gary anyway." Placing my glass down a little harder than intended Mark flinches beside me. All six eyes stare into my direction. "S...sorry...it's...it's just...where the fuck are these pizzas?!" Unexpectedly the door bell rings even before i get chance to close my mouth after my sentence.
"I think your question has been answered..." The three of them burst into laughter. After all i am over reacting over 'pizzas' - well that's what they think i'm over reacting over anyway.

Grabbing my wallet i open the front door in an annoyed way. "This is the second time you've been late. If you think you're going to get a tip... you've got another thing coming." Searching through my wallet for the exact amount of money owed a voice speaks which instantly catches my attention.
"No tip? Well that's a shame."
Blinking my eyes a few times my jaw drops. "G...G...Gary?!" In front of me stands a very smartly dressed Gary Barlow. He's wearing a white shirt which has a few buttons undone showing off his golden chest hair which shines in the hallway lighting.
"Missed me? Sorry i'm late. Mother kept me talking it's been a while since we've spoken, and i guess i lost track of time." Gary holds five boxes of pizza in one hand and a huge box Cadbury's in the other. "The pizza guy was about to deliver these so i paid him and thought i'd deliver them to you myself... and the chocolates... well they're just an apology... from me." Shyly Gary smiles up at me.

Butterflies form in my stomach. Gary always knows how to cheer me up. Feeling like a high school girl with a crush on her teacher i bite my lip nervously staring at Gary standing on my doorway with the moonlight beaming down on him. "You look gorgeous..." Stupidly i mutter causing Gary's cheeks to turn a hint of red.
"Am i forgiven?"
Taking the boxes from his hands i place them on the floor before pulling him into an incredibly tight hug. Nuzzling my face against Gary's neck i inhale his manly scent. He's not drowned in aftershave like most men, only a light spray just how i like it. The palm of Gary's hand rests on my back which gently moves up and down sending tingles all the way down my spine. "Of course you are..." Quietly i mumble against his ear which i nibble the lobe slightly.
"Good..." He releases a sigh of relief pulling away a little from the hug. "....so... this tip? Do i deserve one?" Cheekily he laughs whilst wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
"We'll see Gaz... i mean... you had me worried... i might have something for you later, but just for when the two of us are alone... i don't like sharing..." Grinning like a Cheshire cat i reach down retrieving the boxes before making our way to the living room with Gary leading.
"I better not eat too much pizza then..." He winks over his left shoulder at me. Without saying a word i wink back gently squeezing his bum.

Chapter 11

"Rob...Rob... are you awake?" A voice whispers against my ear. The blanket covering me is tugged a little allowing the coldness to hit against my bare flesh.
"Mmm..." Shivering slightly i wrap the duvet around me again turning onto my left hand side.
"Rob...wakey wakey..." Gary smiles against my cheek jabbing a finger into my ribs. Getting annoyed for being woken up my eyes remain closed whilst i fold my arms stopping him from poking me. "Mark's going to be here soon to pick some piano sheets up... we don't want to be caught like this...right?"
"He'll probably end up joining us."
"Mark? Doubt that mate. With his worried little head we'll probably end up jumping out of the window! You know what he's like." The bed sags as Gary begins to get dressed making me feel colder without him laying beside me.
"Does he have to come today... why can't he come tomorrow... or at least tonight.."
"You mean midnight when you actually roll out of bed." Gary laughs whilst fixing his hair in the mirror at the end of the bed. Knocking on the front door's glass sounds it almost feels like i've got a hangover yet i haven't had a drink. "Oh...shit... he's here."
"How do you know it's him? Is the door locked?"
"Mark always knocks on the glass. The amount of times i've told him to ring the bell it just goes in one ear and out the other, and yes of course it is. You better go in the bathroom or something, but don't have a shower until he's gone." He walks towards the bedroom door to go downstairs.
"Don't i get a kiss?" Cheekily i reply fluttering my eyelashes in a girly way.
"You're a prat mate." Quickly he kisses me on the lips before heading back towards the door again. "Once he's gone i'll do us some breakfast if you like?"
Sitting up slowly i sigh happily at him. "Sounds great to me Gaz... have fun?"
"Aye.. thanks wont be long." With that Gary walks downstairs to let Mark in. I look around the neat and tidy bedroom smiling to myself. This is perfect... i could get use to this life.

Gary's POV

Checking myself one last time in the hall's mirror i straighten my shirt to make me a little presentable. Not that it's much use with Mr Fashion model at my door. Mark knocks on the door again this time longer and louder before he's finished knocking i pull open the door almost causing him to knock onto my chest.
"Gaz!" Beaming me with that famous smile of his he pulls me into a tight, but friendly hug followed by a gentle pat on my back. "How are you? You're looking a lot happier today." Returning the hug i brush off an uncontrollable smile. There's only one reason because of that.
"I'm great Marko, how're you?"
"Brill mate, just brill. Do you have those sheets for me?"
Standing against the wall a little i open the door wider. "Yep they're on the kitchen table. Come in lad you look frozen i'll make us a coffee."
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"I think i might go and visit Rob after i've finished here... besides it's on the way back to mine anyway." Mark peers from the rim of his mug at me.
"W...why?" If there's a person who's a mind reader when there's worry Mark's your man. He can sense it a mile off.
Mark scrunches his face up a little from my question- either that or he dislikes my coffee, but doesn't want to be rude. "He's a mate? And he's been looking down the past week or so... we need a good catch up."
"Oh... well there's no need Mark... honest."
"What do you mean by that? Has he said something to you? Is he ok?"
Trying to hold back my laughter with all Mark's questions i take a big gulp of my coffee which pretty much scolds my throat. "I saw him yesterday. He's fine and you need to stop worrying. We had a long catch up over dinner, so everything's grand."
"Oooooh... i see." Mark pulls a 'i know what you're up to' face which causes me to panic a little. He can't know about me and Robbie... well there's not much to know really seeing as there isn't a me and Robbie... not yet anyway. My palm begins to sweat slightly almost causing me to drop my mug.
"What's with that face?"
"Nothing...."
"Mark tell me." Speaking in an annoyed tone i place my mug forcefully onto the table a little harder than intended spilling it a little.
"Erm...n...nothing... i was joking... sorry Gaz... it's just good to see you and Robbie together... being friends of course...i love seeing the pair of you happy...not in that way... obviously." Mark giggles.
"Obviously... yeah... me too... it's great having him back in my life and us becoming close ... friends again." Painting on a smile to hide my nervous look i drown my lips in the coffee again to disguise it.
"So... have you-" All of a sudden there's a loud bang in the bathroom almost like the shower gels have fallen off the self. Mark almost jumps out of his seat hearing the noises. My eyes widen. Shit Rob what are you doing.?! "Is there... is there someone upstairs?" Nervously Mark looks over his shoulder towards the direction of the stairs. Think Gary think! Now is not the time for gossip god knows what it will cause if Mark finds out.
"Erm...n...no no...."
"But that noise. What on earth was that noise if no ones upstairs?! Oh god... what if there's a burglar in the house? We have to leave Gaz come on! He could have a knife this isn't good!" Mark takes a tight grip to my hand trying to drag me out of my seat, but for some reason it feels like i'm glued to it.

"Mark... stop fussing!"
"This is dangerous! Do you want to get killed Gaz? Come on right now, please?"
"It's rats!" Uncontrollable i blurt out. "I have rats... the guys coming tomorrow to sort it..." Mark looks at me blinking a few times.
"R...rats? You have rats...? In the house?" A shade of white washes over Mark's face making him look more nervous than before. Is he afraid of rats? Wow i never knew that...
"Oh yeah... big ones! A family full! Bloody running around the house like they own it." I lie. "They usually come out when there's company that's why i went over to Rob's instead of inviting him over here. God knows what they would of been like with another male in the house... they seem to attract to men for some reason." Shrugging a little i bite my tongue stopping myself from falling around laughing at Mark's reaction. If his eyes couldn't stretch anymore they almost fall of his head now, as his eyes dart towards the invisible watch on his wrist.
"Well... would you look at that...time sure does fly when you're having fun! It's been great catching up with you Gaz. Next time we should go out for a drink... in a cafe of course will drop you a text later?"
"Alright Markie. Such a shame you can't stay any longer... but you're a busy bee these days. Anyway if you need anything else just drop by... or i'll drop them by."
"Yeah it's best if you drop them by...erm see you later Gaz." We exchange another friendly hug before saying our goodbyes, as Mark finally leaves.

The front door closes giving me the signal it's safe to go back upstairs and search for Rob, and what he's possibly broken. "Rob? He's gone." I walk back to the bedroom to see the bedsheets are on the floor and so are his clothes still. Well he couldn't of escaped through the window... not naked anyway. "Robbie? Where are you?" The bathroom door creaks open slightly and a head peers around the door. "Oh there you are! Jeez what were you doing up here?"
"It wasn't me... it was the rats..." Robbie bites his lip trying to pull a serious face which instantly fails.
"Well i had to say something didn't i? Luckily he was scared of the bloody things, so now we have a free house again. What was you doing?"
"Was going to have a shower, but knocked the shower gels off by accident, so i had to wait. You have them differently to where i have mine."
"I told you not to have one. He would of heard the water running and i couldn't of said the rats were having a shower now could i?" We both burst out laughing imaging Mark's face after telling him that story. "I need a shower, so it's only fair i go first."
"Oh yeah? And how does that work? I've been waiting 10 minutes."
"It's my bloody house now let me in." Trying to push Robbie out the way whilst i try my best opening the door which he's standing behind. It soon becomes clear as in why he was hiding behind the door. Robbie stands in front of me completely naked. Not a single item of clothing is covering any flesh on his perfectly toned body. "Oh...er...s...sorry Rob... erm... you go...you go first..." My eyes fail to leave his body. Well the saying is it's like i'm 'undressing him with my eyes' expect this is reality. Feeling like i'm making him uncomfortable with my staring eyes i decide to leave the bathroom to give him some privacy until something grabs onto my arm. "Rob, what are yo-" A pair of lips claim mine preventing my speech.

Robbie wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer so our bodies fit together like a snug jigsaw. Surrendering from the kiss i throw my arms around the back of his neck deepening the kiss standing on my tip toes slightly. Very slowly Robbie starts to walk backwards, so we both enter the bathroom. Using my right foot i kick the bathroom door closed. "You said you wanted to use the shower... too right?" Is he asking me a rhetorical question? He already knows the answer to that.
"Y...Yes..." Breathing a little faster i reply from the breath taking kiss watching Robbie walk to the direction of the walk in shower.
"Well you can't get in dressed." He winks flicking on the switch causing the water to come slashing down the glass doors making the bathroom a little steamy.
"B...but..." I swallow hard my eyes not once leave his figure. Is he hinting at the pair of us sharing a shower together?
"Don't worry... i'll test the water out for you..." Opening the shower door Robbie stands under the running water it almost looks like a water fall. The droplets bounce off his chest and run down his torso exactly like something you would see in a sexual movie. He squirts some blue coloured shower gel onto the palm of his hand before rubbing it onto his tanned skin causing it to become white and foamy. "It feels amazing Gaz..." Hardly audible Robbie speaks under the water whilst continuing to foam up his body. My jeans tighten watching the view in front of me. What is this man trying to do?

Not wanting to wait any longer with a flash i start to remove my clothing along with tearing my own shirt off my body instead of wasting time unbuttoning it. Now naked i walk over to the misty glass shower doors. I can't see a thing it's too steamy like i've just walked into a sauna. "Rob?" Quietly i speak fighting my way through the steam looking for Robbie's figure again. Unexpectedly i feel my back being slammed against the cold wet titles behind me with two hands bedded against my hips. I could tell who's those hands are a mile off. "R...Rob...what...are-"
"Ssssh... relax..." A pair of grinning lips press against my ear. Hearing his voice calms me allowing me to rest my head against the titled wall. Within a few minutes i feel a fist form around my slightly hardened self causing my eyes to snap open. "Rob?!" Loudly i choke.
"It's ok... just relax....trust me." He snakes his free hand up towards my stomach gently swirling his finger around my navel, as the water continues to drown our naked bodies. Slowly he starts to work his fist against me increasing the speed of my breathing. Planting kisses along my length this is going to be hard to hold back. Robbie seems so calm about all this...maybe he's done it before with another man? Suddenly it didn't matter anymore once i feel his lips tightly wrap around my tip causing me to grit my teeth together.
"Argh....R...Rob..." My hands scoop a fistful of his soaked hair feeling myself enter more into his mouth almost touching the back of his throat when he begins to thrust his lips.

Arching my back during the thrusts i finally hit his throat. Again and again. "Like that...?" Robbie whispers feeling pleased with himself for sending me into this state so quickly. A wash of emotions crash over me multiple times making my knees tremble. "That's it Gaz... let go... i want to taste you..." His warm breath makes contact with my wet skin giving a great effect- and pleasure. Taking a deep breath i can't hold in back anymore feeling myself explode in Robbie's mouth and onto my own legs. "R...R...ROOOOB...." I call out as my body starts to shake from releasing.

Chapter 10

"Erm...d...do you want to...come back...for a coffee?" Nervously Gary buckles his seat belt before starting the engine of the car.
"Yeah it's a good idea we go back to yours... you wont see the light of day with my rubbish!" I joke squeezing his knee slightly. "Tonight's been lovely, Gaz. I haven't been out in ages... i've really enjoyed it.. thank you." Gently i plant a kiss onto his cheek. Keeping my lips there for a brief moment i brush them against his light stubble allowing the warmth of my breath to make contact with his now burning cheek. "Red suits you..." Quietly i whisper against his ear. He clears his throat quickly and puts both hands onto the staring wheel.
"Um... n...no problem..erm..Rob... we better head back...its...its getting late." I haven't seen Gary act like this before its sweet to see him all shy for a change.
"Lets..."
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"How many sugars Rob?" Gary's voice echoes around my ears from the kitchen.
"Two please, mate." I reply looking around his living room it feels like i'm in a museum! True Gary Barlow style everything neat, tidy and expensive. My wondering eyes soon leave the price procession ornaments once a staggering Gary enters the room carefully carrying two mugs of steaming coffee. "Thanks, Gaz." He places it in front of me on the glass coffee table with a coaster underneath - of course.
"No problem..." He seems to be a bit edgy this evening i thought him telling me the things he's kept inside for so long would do him good? The atmosphere becomes awkward as we sit in silence the only sound which can be heard is a clock on the living room wall and some cars outside.
"So..."
Gary watches the steam leave his mug as his finger circles around the rim of it. "Sorry if i'm boring you."
"Eh? I thought everything was ok now it's out in the open?"
"Until the papers get their stamp on it all... i'm going to be a laughing stock again... i don't want to drag you down with me..." He mutters under his breath whilst putting his mug back on the coaster. "I'm sorry..." Clearly he's overthinking which is just creating problems which aren't needed. He strokes his temples with his index fingers and cradles his face with his hands.

"Hey... don't be like this..." Feeling partly guilty seeing him like this i walk over to join him on the empty space on the sofa. "Come on... everything's going to be ok... you know that..." Softly i stroke his back before tightly wrapping my arm around his shoulder. "You need to stop thinking about people who have nothing to do with any of this... you need to think about your feelings... i'm not having you ill with worry over anything..." Slowly Gary lifts his head running his fingers down his cheeks studying my face for a couple of seconds.
"Y...you...really do care about me... don't... you?"
"Of course i do Gary i lo- you're my best friend... i've missed you..." Running my fingers through his hair i rest his head against my chest. "No ones going to hurt or upset you Gary... i'm going to protect you...no matter what." His eyes look up at me from my chest and a very faint smile curls at the corners of his lips.
"T...t...thank you...no ones ever said that to me before..."
"I mean it..." The breathless whisper swirls around the living room as we stare into one anothers eyes. Staring at Gary's face brings the butterflies back into my stomach almost like i've turned back into my teenage years. He's really someone special to me, and i hope one day he understands it. My hand rests against his chest feel his heart beat increase rapidly it almost falls out of his chest.
"Rob..." The back of his hand strokes my cheek turning me into a purring cat just from his touch which is so gentle and calming. We move closer to each other, and it's not long before our lips are pressed firmly together. The fireworks spark again feeling him stroke along my stomach and waist band of my trousers. Breathing a sigh of relief as i finally feel him surrender to what his feelings want.

Our lips collide more and more passionate each time as we work in sync. "Gaz..." Panting slightly i press my forehead against his feeling the sweat on his forehead connect to mine. His eyes look deep into mine which show the message exactly as my head is telling me. "S...should...we...erm..." Surprisingly he nods in response understanding what i'm about to say even though i haven't fully said it yet. He takes my hand with his thumb stroking along the top of it, as a calm smile appears on his face. We both stand to our feet not breathing a word as we make our way to the stairs.
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It's the first time i've seen Gary's bedroom, but there's no time to have a nose around... well not this time there isn't. As soon as Gary closes the door my lips plunge onto his not wanting to miss his addictive kisses for too long. My hands claw at the expensive suit he's wearing although he doesn't seem to mind nor care that i've accidentally torn three buttons from his shirt due to the heat of the moment. Walking me backwards as i continue to unbutton his shirt and tie i fall onto the bed pulling Gary on top of me with a grunt and a giggle he starts off another passionate kiss. "I...I...I.. love...you..." Panting heavier i try and find his eyes through the darkness of the room.
"Kiss me..." Gary's fingers begin to work on the buttons of my shirt now. Doing as he says i obey his instructions, as my tongue demands entry between his thin slick lips. Without hesitation he parts them enough for my tongue to slide through and explore his mouth.

After 15 minutes every item of our clothing ends up in a pile on the floor, as we just lay side by side on the bed completely naked. Gary smiles softly staring at me with his head resting against his bicep with his hand stroking my chest hair. Who would of thought after everything me and Gary have been through it would lead to this. "I...i don't....want... to push you..." My thumb circles the small patch of his blond chest hair as we continue to lay together. Gary bows his head a little sliding his hand from my chest hair and to my collar bone.
"M...M..maybe... i'm not...ready...for...you know..." The tone drops in his voice into a more disappointed speech.
A finger rests under his chin bringing his eyes back into contact with mine. "And i don't want to push you into anything Gaz... nothing you don't feel ready for or comfortable with.."
"B...but... i want... i want to... it's just... isn't there... another way?" Swallowing hard his eyes scan down from my eyes towards the lower part of my body.
"Maybe there is..." Slowly trailing my fingers from his chest they snake down past his navel towards his groin. Gary's eyes stretch from my touch with my other hand i twist my fingers in his hair relaxing him as i begin to form a fist around his semi hard erection.
"O...o...oh..." He speaks in a shaky breath feeling a little uneasy and unsure at first. Very slowly i move my fist against him, as he begins to relax even more resting his head into the pillows.
"Sssh..." After each thrust i slowly increase my fist watching the smudge of enjoyment start to appear on his face.

Not expecting it i feel the exact same do the same to me. A loose grip forms around my erection gently squeezing. Looking pleased with himself he softly strokes along the full length of me trying to catch up to the speed of my work. Muting our moans we forcefully press our lips together again having the pleasure swirl around our heads. I've had this done to me so many times before, but the way Gary does it out shines all the others. It's his touch, so soft, delicate and pleasurable at the same time. Our tongues crash together fighting as our fists increase in speed. Feeling myself harden even more i grip the bottom of my lip noticing Gary leak slightly onto my palm with a loud groan i push the back of my head deeper into the pillows unable to control myself any longer, as i finally release onto Gary's stomach. A few minutes later Gary copies me expect instead of releasing onto my stomach he shoots his load into my fist. "Oooh fuck..." Collapsing of exhaustion i close my eyes panting for my breath back. The pillow sags a little as Gary drops his head backwards onto it.
"Woah...." He mumbles.

Chapter 9

{A week had passed since Gary let his emotions go in front of Robbie for the first time. Still feeling unsure about his feelings Gary's decided to invite Robbie out for dinner...just the two of them. The new Take That album is partly written since the talk Robbie's recorded all of his parts... well of course he has he wants to get on Gary's good side especially over the fact they could now possibly have a relationship... Although Gary has some 'secrets' of his own to tell Robbie over dinner finally finding the courage to do so after all these years....}

Shit i'm running late! Knocking back my coffee it burns my tongue which causes me to spill it down my clean white ironed shirt. "This can't be happening!" Hearing the sound of a car bleep outside completely knocks me off guard whilst bending down to reach for another shirt from my pile of clothes i hit the side of my head against the coffee table. "OUCH!" I call out gripping above my eyebrow which begins to drip with blood. Why is everything going wrong? Tonight of all nights! The car horn sounds again without bothering to iron the new shirt i quickly throw it on myself along with half a roll of toilet paper for my wound. Taking a sharp intake of air i lock my door before jogging down the corridor to find Gary outside.

What feels like i've just run down a hundred flights of stairs i finally reach the bottom feeling the cold crisp air blow against my flushed cheeks. Gary sits outside the block of flats in a black Audio drumming his fingers against the staring wheel. He's smartly dressed seeing him wearing a black suit jacket, black tie and smart white shirt. Great. Bet he's going to love going on a date with a scruff. Why am i even bothering what chance do i have with Gary... Gary Barlow of all men. Turning on my heels i head back inside the entrance of the flats, until i hear a voice call which stops me. "Rob! Come on lad." Peering over to where the voice sounds from, Gary leans out of the drivers side of the car door grinning in my direction. That grin alone sends shivers through my whole body.
"O...Oh hi Gaz... i was just going to get changed... i dropped coffee on my other shirt... and well..."
"Don't be daft you look fine. Get in or we're going to be late." I can't help but to smile. No matter what's been said in the past week Gary's a great person when you're feeling down he boosts your confidence up when it's needed.

I open the door of the passenger side before sitting down. "How are-.... jeeez what happened to your head?!" Gary turns the side of my head looking at the deep graze i made on the coffee table just minutes ago.
"Ow..." I whimper from the bruised skin being touched by Gary's finger. "I....dropped coffee down myself... then the car horn made me jump...whilst bending down..."

"Oh gosh Rob... This is all my fault.. I thought you'd fallen asleep that's why I was pressing my horn... Are you feeling ok?" Seeing the concern and smudge of worry showing on Gary's face warms my stomach.
"I'm fine...much better...now..." Gently i move my hand on top of his which rests on the side of my face. Neither of us move out of contact for about a minute.
 "S..Should..we...erm...get going?" Gary nervously pulls his hand from my face and back onto the staring wheel.
"Yes..."
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It took longer than I thought, but it sure looks worth it. I'm definitely under dressed for this it's like a place where Elton John would throw a party. "Erm...won't people see us? Together?" I raise my eyebrow watching Gary get out of the car handing the keys over to a younger gentleman.
"So what if they do? Two friends having dinner together isn't a crime." He shrugs off a wink to me and a half smile. Feeling a little silly i also get out of the car walking over to Gary. Both of his thumbs are rested into his pockets he almost looks like a magazine clothing model. My palm begins to twitch demanding for Gary's touch against it. He slings a weightless arm over my shoulder as we start to make our way inside. Even though this is just a friendly dinner to have a chat over a meal i still class it as a date in my mind.

Once we get inside a waiter instantly shows us to our table. Beautiful view onto the gardens outside which the chandelier shines against the window lighting up the whole of it. "Wow... impressive Mr Barlow... i must admit." Glancing around the room i notice a few familiar faces like Dermot O'Leary who's sitting at a table the opposite side of the room with his wife engaged in conversation.
"I use to go here a few years back. It's a bit more private no paps lurking around." Gary hangs his suit jacket over the back of the chair whilst reaching for a menu. "So what do you fancy to eat?" Wiping a few formed sweat droplets from my forehead with my thumb i hold back my thought of 'i wouldn't mind eating you', but sadly Gary's not on the menu tonight.
"Erm.. just something light... not really hungry ..." Mumbling softly to myself i scroll down the menu. The main reason why i came along today was to talk not to eat, and with the thought of what Gary's going to say makes me nervous putting me off eating anyway.
"Come on mate it's my treat. You like steak right? I think i might have the steak they do it just how i like it here." Gary waves the waiter over.
"But i-" There's no point in arguing it's too late Gary's already ordered. Besides there's no need arguing about food we've got better things to talk about.

 "So...?" Playing with the neatly placed napkin sitting in front of me i run my index finger and thumb against it acting like a shy school girl. Gary clears his throat pouring himself a glass of vintage red wine sitting in an ice bucket beside our table.
"Do you want a drink?" He points to the bottle of fizzy water next to him on the table.
"It's ok i can do it..." Reaching out for the bottle our hands touch one anothers. The warmth coming from the top of his hand completely knocks out the coldness of the bottle. My hand sits peacefully over Gary's for at least 5 seconds until he pulls away, anxiously looking around at the other tables. Ignoring his reaction i pour myself half a glass of fizzy water before sipping it to hide my thoughts. He really needs to have more confidence.
"How...how are you?" Gary finally breaks the silence, as the food arrives. Wow. Is this for the five thousand or just for me and Gary? Different colours of vegetables fill the plate like a paint pallet, also the side of the plate is a small scoop of mash potato, and finally in the centre sits a sizzling steak which spits a little onto my shirt feeling a twinge of hot oil soak through it and onto my skin.
"N...not bad.... you?" Blinking a few times still surprised at the amount of food sitting in front of me i drain the last of my water.

Gary shrugs stabbing his fork into the steak controlling the hissing which it releases. "Been better i suppose... heads a bit foggy, but it's understandable."
"What do you mean? Is it my fault?" A slight nudge of guilt enters my body. Gary looks knackered maybe i've been playing around with his head making him lose sleep.
"Don't be silly course not... i mean... i over think... a lot... ask Mark..."
"Mark easily picks up on these things... do you want to talk about them at all?" Cutting a piece of the steak i place it into my mouth. A range of flavours fill my mouth. It's perfectly cooked just the way i like it medium rare.
"Well.... that's the point of this dinner...." Gary almost hums the words as plays around with the vegetables on his plate. For some reason his facial expression tells me he's lost his appetite.
"Oh... well... i'm all ears."
Gary takes a quiet sharp in take of breath before resting his fork at the side of the plate laying his chin onto his hands. "I haven't been... entirely honest... with you anyway..."
"What do you mean by that? I have done something to upset you again?"
"Rob please... just stop.... stop making out you're the bad guy... you haven't done anything." It feels like Gary's words glue my lips together.
"S...sorry.... please explain?" I continue eating my food as an excuse to stop me from annoying Gary with my apologises every five seconds.
"The whole me and you thing... you must of realised... things about me the first time around..." Confusion feels my face by what he's trying to hint at.
"I...I don't understand?"

Rubbing his finger tips against his eyelids, Gary searches for the right words with rest on the tip of his tongue. "Rob... don't play games... i don't have the patience for these sort of things."
"Gary...i...i'm being serious i don't understand what you're talking about? Sure we got along the first time around even though we had our disagreements which spiralled out of control, but anyone-"
"I don't mean that." Gary cuts in. "The songs... the songs i wrote... the songs i wrote.... about... about you..." He swallows hard burying his face into his palms. For a moment i sit there watching him breath steadily into his hands hiding his face from embarrassment. Gary wrote songs... about me? Since when?!
"W...what?"
"You're really telling me you never knew? It was clear they were about you Rob... everything i did was about or for you..."

Words fail to leave my lips from shock. Am i really hearing this? Or am i only hearing what i want to hear? "I never...erm... re...really?" Pushing away my half eaten plate suddenly like Gary, i've lost my appetite.
"Pathetic really... Howard asked a few times who they were about, but i was  22 years old... i wasn't going to admit i had feelings for another guy... especially not my band mate..." He sighs hiding his face against his hands again i can feel the tension and pressure he's feeling it's that strong you can almost cut it with a knife.
"F...feelings....for me? You had feelings for me?! Why didn't you tell me?!" I reply with a slight annoyance in my voice. After all these years Gary's been feeling the exact same i've felt about him. Yet he chose to ignore it for the protection of his embarrassment and image.
"You were the cool one in the band. I was the geeky stuck up one who got everything he wanted and got everything to go his way. If i told you this at the time i had the feeling you would laugh in my face 'the gay fat blond lead singer of the band' would be plastered all over the papers wouldn't he? Mentally i couldn't go through with that... i would of walked away from the band... changed my name or something. Live a new life completely.
"Wow..." My eyes stretch from what Gary's said. Does he really think i'm that shallow? That hurtful to him? Yes i've said some unforgivable things about him in the past, but never would i laugh at him for having the same thoughts about me. Even if i didn't feel the same way i wouldn't of acted like that. "I... i don't what to say..."
"Not like you to be speechless..." He tries to pull off a joke trying to break the tension which continues to fill the room coming from the pair of us. "If you want to leave... you can... just seriously forget what i've said tonight... i blame the wine."
"You always blame the wine... you've only had a glass...even if you was drunk... they say people are more honest that way... i guess you're like that without drinking yourself into an oblivion...we should of been honest with one another... who knew what things could of been like now if we were..."
"Yeah..." Softly a smile appears onto Gary's face also a hint of regret shows. It's like a ray of light at the end of a dark tunnel seeing his smile, finally i start to feel more relaxed again seeing it.
"Would you like a-" Before i get chance to fill his glass the wine bottle slides out of my hand from the icy water which causes me to drop it into Gary's lap. Instantly he jumps out of his seat patting down the droplets of wine which run down his trousers. "Shit, shit, shit... i'm sorry Gaz!" Quickly i grab our napkins dabbing his trousers whist i kneel in front of him. Gary just stands there watching me try my best at attempting to stop the wine from staining his trousers. Slowly my eyes travel up to his face whilst i remain on my knees.
"W...Would you like to go home?" He speaks calmly faintly brushing off a smile as he looks down into my eyes. Biting my lip slightly i scrunch up the red wine stained napkin replying with a nod.

Chapter 8

After 2 hours i finally pull myself together. Sod him. I'm not going to let him ruin the last part of my life. The only reason why i'm going to bother going down to the studio is for the other three of my friends. Not Gary he's made a message quite clear to me and i'm not going to break my heart over him not now anyway. Picking up my bag i swing it over my shoulder locking my front door behind me, as i head to the reception to ring for a taxi.

After a short drive the taxi drops me at the front of the studio. Jason sits with Howard on a small outdoor bench enjoying a chat and a few puffs of a cigarette. Taking a deep breathe collecting my thoughts i walk along the gravel which crunches under my feet. "And here's another grumpy one!" Jason playfully nudges Howard pointing into my direction.
"What?"
"You and Grumpy Gary in there. Both of you have a face like a smacked arse." Jason laughs. Howard studies my face he knows something's not right between me and Gary i can tell with the look he's giving me.
"O...oh no.. i'm great.. just some trouble with the neighbours that's all... are you coming in it's a bit cold out here and i wanna get back to work on some songs." Forcing out a smile i rub my hands together warming them up a little from the cold atmosphere.
"Come on." Howard flicks the end of his cigarette onto the floor before stepping on it. He wraps an arm around my shoulder as we begin to walk inside with Jason following close behind. "Mark was in there with him when we left getting told off for doing his high notes too high... like that makes sense... you know what Gary's like... 'mister perfect'." Howard jokes opening a black door at the end of the corridor unable to see through the glass seeing as it's frosted i don't have anymore time to prepare myself.
"Try it again, but this time not too high." Gary's voice echoes through the microphone on the recording desk. Mark stands inside the recording box with his head rested against a microphone mumbling under his breath from exhaustion. Gary must of kept him in there for at least a few hours rehearsing.
"My voice is gonna be buggered at this rate." Slowly he lifts his head catching us out the corner of his eye causing a smile to automatically appear. "Oh thank god you lot are back!" He walks out of the recording glass door to give me a friendly hug. "Alright Rob?"
"Y...Yeah thanks... Markie... how're you?" Even though i'm not looking over at Gary i can feel his eyes burning against the side of my head.
"Even better now you're here i'm dying for a ciggie...  me voice needs a rest... you're the only one who needs to do your parts... so good luck!" With a blink of an eye Mark grabs his hat, scarf, coat, gloves and a packet of Sterling Silver cigarettes from the table before disappearing outside.

Jason picks one of the acoustic guitars from a corner of the studio. "Have you got that track How?"
"Yeah should we give it a try? Gaz have you got the blank discs? We're gonna try Howard's harmonies on that track again in the green room."
"Dunno. Have a look for them." Gary replies in a snappy tired tone as he continues to play around with different effects on the switch board for Mark's track. "Fuck sake." Angrily he hits his fist against the wooden board stroking his forehead in frustration. Howard rolls his eyes opening the door for Jason who carries the guitar along with a bundle of wires.
"You can't leave me?" Following them out the door i whisper as quietly as i can. They can't leave me alone with Gary why he's in this mood. Things will just take another turn for the worst and this album with never happen.
"You'll be fine Rob. He's just moody over something he'll get over it. We're only next door and Mark won't be long either. Good luck with the tracks." Howard gives me a friendly pat on the shoulder, as both himself and Jason make their way next door. Great.

The quicker i do these tracks the quicker i can get out of here i think to myself building some confidence up whilst i make my way back into the room shutting the door behind me. "Didn't think you'd show." Gary speaks instant once the door closes. "You're good at that." Is he hinting about me not showing up to the press conference back when the band split? Why is he acting like this? I thought he changed.
"Mature." I walk over to one of the chairs opposite the recording box. "You haven't changed a bit... still self a centred jerk you was back in the nineties."
"I can't be doing with this just get on with your tracks, so i can get out of here." Gary reaches through a pile of blank discs, so he knew where they were then?
"Why are you being like this Gary? This isn't like you... well not how you acted the first few hours we were together." Gently i place my hand onto his wrist stopping him from  rummaging through the box of blank discs. Feeling my touch quickly Gary pulls away not allowing me to make contact with him. "Have i done something? Have i said something? This is driving me mad!"
"Just leave it Rob..." Quietly Gary  mutters under his breath cupping his face. He inhales a deep breathe and exhaling it into a sigh.
"No. I can't leave it. We were happy... i was actually happy... that was down to you why the sudden change out of the blue? Howard didn't catch us... even if he did i don't see the problem."
"Of course you don't see the problem! But i do! I'm not like you Rob... when i say 'i don't care' i do. I do care what people think of me... i just can't go through the talking.. the whispers... the everything... mentally i'm not strong for that quiet suffering again."

For a moment or two the room drops silent that's when his words sink in. "Y...You're...embarrassed?"
"You don't know what you're talking about. Just get in the recording box. I won't say it again Rob." Shaking my head my lips curl into a smile, but not a happy smile. "You're embarrassed about loving another man... aren't you? That's it isn't it?"
"NO! I don't love another man... i never have....not in that way...but that doesn't mean i have problems with men who are gay... i'm just not one of them."
"Stop lying to yourself... just admit it.... go on... admit it Gary Barlow... you have feeling for another man." Moving my hand to his tightly i grip it feeling his sweaty palm against mine. For a few seconds we sit with our hands locked together until he stands up breaking contact cupping his face again looking agitated.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?! You're making things ten times worse!" I can't let him slip away like this. He's hiding it. It's written all over his face and the way he's acting.
"Gary. Look at me." Standing to my feet i walk over to him taking hold of his arm to stop his frantic pacing. "Look. At. Me." My hands take hold of his pulling them slowly away from his face, so we make eye contact at last. A strike of panic fills his eyes as he looks into mine. "It's ok..." Speaking in a quiet breath i hold his hands in mine waist high. His eyes lower to take a look at our hands before wondering back to my face.

"I...I'm..." Gary bites the inside of his cheek whilst we continue to hold hands with about an inch gap inbetween our bodies.
"Go on..." I give his left hand a little comforting squeeze to show him it's ok. Everything will be ok. "You can do it Gaz... listen to your heart... it's me... Rob..." His breathing starts to increase a little and his forehead begins to sweat slightly.
"I...i'm...s...s..sorry..." Quietly he whispers with a shaky breath almost inaudible dropping his head.
"Huh? What did you say?" Tilting my head i try to make contact with his eyes again.
"I....I'm sorry! I'm sorry... everything... this is my fault... the things i've said... you didn't deserve that... i'm...i'm not being honest with myself...oh god my head is... i'm a mess..." Tears build in his eyes. For the first time in years i've seen Gary Barlow get emotional. Actually being on the edge of tears.
"Sssh... it's ok Gaz..." Pulling him closer i wrap my arms around his back gently stroking my palm up and down. He doesn't pull away instead he returns it burying his face against my arm. "Everything's going to be ok... i promise you...we can do this together...i promise..." He nods his head against me wrapping his arms even tighter around me. Softly i plant kisses in his slightly damp hair nuzzling my chin against his shoulder. "We're a team... Mr B..."

Chapter 7

My heart pounds against my chest i feel sick. "G...Gaz's? Why...why do you say that?" I try and laugh it off the best i can hiding my nerves.
"Because i saw him leave in it this morning... has he been round here?" Howard walks over to me i feel like a rabbit in head lights any second i'm going to get hit. "Rob? Why are you sweating? Are you sure you're ok?" He places a hand onto my shoulder frightening the life out of me.
"AH!" I jump a couple of inches backwards gripping tightly to the sugar pot. Howard's eyes widen with worry, as he continues to study my face. "S...s..sorry... i...erm.."
"Has something happened between you and Gary? Please don't tell me you've had a fight?" Thinking quickly i hatch up a plan right now this can't come out not even to our closest friends.

"N..no...nothing like that... honest... me and Gary.. we... we are better than ever."
"But... this is Gary's shirt... right?" He holds up the scrunched slightly damp shirt of Gary's in my view.
Softly i nod. "Y...yes... we...erm... shared a curry... and he dropped it down him...so i washed it..." My eyes continue to stare at the mugs i dare not give him eye contact seeing whether he believes my lie or not.
"So where is he now? Roaming the streets naked?" Howard laughs nudging my into the ribs a little whilst placing the shirt on the back of the sofa. Quietly i breathe a sigh of relief. Thank you God.

"No... he's borrowed one of mine... he went back to his place to get dressed... you know what mate i'm going to be another couple of hours, so you might as well take the lift yourself and i'll meet you all down there?" I give him a friendly smile wiping the sweat from my brow with my thumb. "Do you want your coffee still? I've got some of those plastic takeaway cups if you want to take it with you?"
"Sure... that'll be great thanks. Rob... you know if you ever need someone to talk to..." He pats my shoulder whilst i pour the coffee into the empty starbucks cup.
"Thanks man... i'll bare that in mind." I hand him the cup walking to the direction of the door. We both give one another a friendly hug before he finally leaves. Quickly i lock the front door jogging back to my bedroom. "Gaz...Gary...he's gone..." I whisper peering my head around the door searching for Gary through the darkness. After a few minutes i notice movement under my bed and out slides Gary wrapped in a blanket.
"Finally!" He mutters in an annoyed tone shuffling on his bare knees. "What took you so long?"
"I didn't want to be rude and throw him out...sorry." Sadly i pout wrapping my arms around his naked waist. Gary bows his head a little gently pushing my arms away. "Erh...are you ok?"

"Y...Yeah..." Using the palm of his hand he strokes his forehead a little looking agitated. Taking a few steps closer to him again i nuzzle my face into his slightly wet messy hair planting a couple of kisses onto his forehead. "D...don't...please..." Again Gary pushes me away.
"What's wrong?" I ask feeling confused over his new reaction to me. "Have i done something wrong?" Slowly Gary lifts his head giving me eye contact the brightness in his eyes seem to have faded into a much more dull coloured green.
"S...Sorry." Before i get chance to say anything else he quickly slides past me locking himself into the bathroom. What has gotten into him?!

"Gaz?" Within seconds he comes stumbling out of the bathroom fastening his shirt up the wrong way gripping to the locked door handle. "GAZ!"
"P...please... just open the door..." He doesn't even bother turning around which annoys me even more. "I've got to go."
"What's happened?! Why the sudden rush?"
Quietly he sighs running his hand through his fluffy hair. "I...I can't...do this..."
"Gary...i've told you already... i'm not after that. What can i do to make you believe me?!"
"No...no i don't...mean that... i mean... i mean us Rob... i'm sorry... i guess i was just rebounding off my recent relationship...i just missed the attention and you gave it to me... after almost getting caught it brought me back to reality... i'm sorry." After hearing his words my whole body freezes. He used me. He actually used me wanting attention. Never in my life has someone said that to me... and never in my life has someone just crushed my heart like that.

"So you regret it all? You just fucking used me? I can't believe you... i was actually happy for the first time in years!"
"Mate...listen... if you're gay i'm completely fine with it... it's just that... i'm not... i'm not gay."
"You could of fooled me." I mutter angrily under my breath. "I even started cleaning up this place hoping you'll come round and visit me more... i've lived in this dump for 6 months and since you came round i've been tidying here and there.." Gary's mouth drops a little hearing the word '6 months'. "Yeah, that's right i lied. Just to cover up the fact that i'm a sad middle aged man feeding off the happiness you've been given me, and now you've taken it all back! Do you know what just go... you're just as bad as everyone else!" Trying to hold the tears back i put the key into the lock opening the front door.
"R...Rob...wait... please...lets talk." Gary looks at me with  guilt spreading across his face. It feels like my heart has just sunk after what he just said to me.
"I thought you was better than this Gary Barlow! Just get out!" Pushing him out the door i quickly lock it again as i slowly slide down the door allowing my face to drop into my hands.

Chapter 6

Emotions flood over me making my hormones rage like a 16 year old again. Even having him in my arms will be good enough i just need to touch him, and to have my lips somewhere on his body. Gary continues to stand in the doorway shaking from the cold breeze coming from the air vent not far from his legs. Taking the chance i have i walk over to him standing in front of him leaving about an inch gap in between our bodies. His eyes travel up to meet mine our torsos now touch due to our heavy breathing bodies closing the gap completely. My hand strokes through his wet fringe sticking it up a little twirling it around my index finger. Neither of us breath a word nor do we break eye contact. For every second i spend staring at him drives me even more insane to the point i can no longer cope causing me to connect my lips to his pushing him flat against the wall next to him. His moans vibrate against my lips shooting all the way down to my legs which begin to tremble from the excitement. Gary wraps his damp arms tightly around the back of my neck pulling my lips fully onto his. You can almost turn our moans and pants into a song. One of Gary's hands grip onto the bathroom door handle trying to steady us as his emotions cause him to shake and become tense again. Gently i remove his hand from the door handle slipping it through my own hair where he begins to tug at it driving me mad.

I stroke one of my hands against his thigh tickling a little by trailing my finger tips up and down it until my hand wraps around it teasingly giving a squeeze. Doing the same with my other hand i lift both of his legs up. "W...W..wrap..them...around me..." I murmur into the kiss trying to pant for some of my breath back. Without asking questions Gary obeys my demand wrapping his legs tightly around my waist so his whole back and head is forcefully fixed against the wall.
"T...this...is...s...so...wrong..." His eyes close whilst i plant a string of kisses along his jawline and collar bone. He's right, it is wrong, but if it's wrong why are we doing it? Why aren't we pushing each other away? "B...but...it...f...feels...so right..."Gary eyes roll into the back of his head grunting louder when my tongue comes into action tracing the vein in his neck, and the stubble line on his cheeks tasting the water droplets on his skin from the shower. "R...R...Rob...I..." His breath shakes and his eyes widen with surprise at how husky his voice sounds at almost 40 years old. It's not very often Gary Barlow gets nervous not until now i've seen him act like this.
"Yes..." Quietly i whisper pressing my lips against his cheek parting them so he can feel my warm breath against his wet skin.
"P...Please...w...will...yo...you...erm...-" A knock on the door cuts Gary from his sentence. Both of our eyes shoot into the direction of the door. We freeze looking at one another wondering who it could be, and what exactly they want. This is too good to stop now.

"Rob? Are you in there?" A voice speaks from the other side of my door. Oh no. Gary looks at my surprised mouthing the name Howard. Why is Howard knocking at my door? Seriously how did the boys find out where i live?! "Come on Rob open up or i'm coming in it's freezing out here." Quickly i lower Gary back so his feet touch the floor.
Whispering very quietly only audible to Gary i nod my head to the bedroom. "I'll try and get rid of him." Gary agrees to hide in my bedroom where he sprints off to, as i make my way over to the door making sure Gary's fully disappeared before i open it.
"Finally!" Howard walks into the room rubbing his hands together blowing on them a little to warm up. "It feels like bloody Iceland out there." My head is completely on another planet thinking about the moment me and Gary were just in. "Earth to Robbie?" A hand waves in front of my eyes snapping me out of my trance.
"Huh?" I shake my head looking at a concerned Howard standing in front of me.
"Mate... are you ok? Your look a little flushed?" He presses the back of his hand against my cheek feeling my hot temperature. "Woah. Rob i think you need to see a doctor!" He notices the wet around my neck on my shirt. "You're sweating as well!" It's not sweat it's the water which was on Gary's arms when he was holding me.
"N...no How...i'm fine...honest...i...i erh...just took a hot shower and didn't dry properly that's all...so what brings you down here?" Quickly i change topic of conversation walking over to the sofa.
"Just stopped by to see you... wondered if you wanted to share a lift on the way down to the studio?" He looks around my incredibly messy flat. To be honest since Gary got here i attempted to actually tidy a few things up. "Did a bomb explode in here or something?"

"Oh...no...i just haven't had the time to sort things out yet...this being a new place an all... would you like a coffee?" Walking towards the kitchen i avoid explaining why the place is such a dump.
"Please mate. Oh and is it ok if i nip to your toilet? Bloody cold gets to you these days getting old you know." Teasingly he nudges me in the ribs whilst i fill up the coffee maker.
"Very funny... course you can." The coffee begins to boil as Howard walks into the bathroom. Noticing out the corner of my eye the bedroom door is wide open i quickly jog over to it closing it  fully just incase he spots Gary in there which i doubt he will seeing as there's no need for him to even go in there. The sound of the toilet flushing causes me to walk back over to the kitchen area to finish off making the coffee's.
"How many sugars?" I ask once the bathroom door opens again. Howard doesn't reply. "Howard, how many su-" My sentence is cut short when i see Howard holding Gary's t shirt in his hands. Shit. That's Gary's and with the look on his face he knows it is!
"Isn't this Gaz's?" He asks looking at me with a confused look on his face.

Chapter 5

The kiss becomes more intense as our lips work together and my hand crawls at Gary's chest feeling the rapid beat of his heart pound against his chest. My hand grips to his tensed bicep which i just brush my fingers against trying to relax him a little showing him everything's ok. After several minutes of kissing it soon comes to an end, as Gary breaks contact pulling away from my arms which rest around the back of his neck. "Erm..." He pinches his bottom lip inbetween his thumb and index finger looking at his knees. Trailing my hand down his back he weakens under my touch again firmly closing his eyes. 

"Are you ok?" Softly i whisper against his ear inhaling his scent which makes me shiver with happiness. Gary forces out a smile tilting his head backwards against the sofa. 

"Y...Yeah...erm...n...no...i don't know..." 

"Talk to me..?" Wrapping a single arm around his shoulder i rest my head against his. It almost feels like we're an old couple. It just feels so natural. 

He shrugs crossing his arms tensing up again. "I'm... confused... i best get off... tiredness is kicking in again." Gary sits up standing to his feet. 

"Stay here." The words roll of out my mouth before i realise what i've just said. Gary's eyes grow by my reply. "N...no... i mean.... not for that.. i'm going to take the sofa... you have the bed... i'm not after anything... honest..." Bowing my head a little i feel like a complete fool. He must think i'm a sex monster or something. Well done Robbie. 

"If you're sure that's ok?" Gary almost whispers releasing a yawn whilst rubbing his eyes. He looks like he could sleep for a thousand years. In a way i want to look after him... well for tonight anyway. 

"Of course... anything for y-..... a friend." Making my way to the bedroom i tidy a few things... well moving the heaps of clothes from the bed, so he can actually get in it. "If you need any nightwear or clothes feel free... i'm bigger than you, so i guess you'll be buried in them." 

"You're a good man Rob." Gary pats my arm walking over to the bed. "Are you sure you want the sofa? You can have the bed it is yours." 

"Honestly Gaz i'll be fine. Have a good rest." We shine each other a friendly smile before i close the door leaving it open enough for some light to sneak through. I walk back to the sofa where i wrap myself in a sleeping bag whilst laying shirtless. Words cannot describe tonight. I haven't been this happy or loved in years. Gary is someone really special even if he might regret what happened tonight it will never leave me. I'm so glad i have him back in my life.

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"Rob...Rob... are you awake?" A hand pushes against my shoulder flickering my eyelids the sunlight almost blinds me. 

"Mmmm... what time is it?" Releasing a moan as i stretch my arms up feeling my back begin to ache from sleeping on the sofa all night. 

"7am... C...Can i have a shower please?" Shading my eyes from the sunlight i notice Gary standing above me giving me a slight smile wearing one of my t shirts and his boxers. Wow. 

"S...Sure... use anything you need." I almost choke staring at him. Never before have i looked at someone in the way i do with Gary. Why have i been blind for so long? I've been an absolute idiot for ever wanting to crush and ruin such a beautiful man's life. 

"I wont be long and i'll be out of your hair... thank you." Happily Gary walks to the direction of the shower. Watching him walk to the bathroom not once do my eyes break contact from him until he closes the bathroom door. I lay my head back down resting against the sofa's arm sighing happily to myself.

Water splashes from inside the bathroom whilst i begin to get dressed. A little dressed up than what i usually do. Jeans with a white shirt leaving a few buttons undone showing off my rough chest hair. Gary hums whilst he's in the shower. Smiling to myself knowing he's happy makes me even more happy if that's possible. All of a sudden the water stops and I hear a faint whisper calling my name whilst i run my comb through my messy hair. "Rob?" The voice mumbles again.

"Yeah?" I walk out of my bedroom to find Gary shaking a little at the doorway of the bathroom wearing only a pair of boxers. Water drips from his partly naked body. Seeing him like this completely stops me in my tracks even my mouth drops open a little. 

"D...do you have... a towel?" He rubs his dripping cold arms trying to warm up a little as he stands shy looking at me. I don't even want to blink i just want to stay in this moment looking at this gorgeous man standing in front of me.  Looking at him from head to toe something catches my eye. Something i didn't expect to see. Without having a towel that meant he didn't have chance to dry his body causing his boxers to stick to his skin. Blinking my eyes a few times making sure i'm not seeing things it comes clear that the water has attached his boxers tightly to his body revealing his length which rests against his left leg. Oh my. My breathing increases rapidly. 

Chapter 4

Clattering in the kitchen wakes me up. Where am i? Sticking to the leather sofa i nervously sit up looking around the room. I must of fallen asleep at Gary's. "Morning sleeping beauty!" Howard waves at me from the sofa opposite me eating a slice of toast.
"M...Morning." I smile whilst rubbing my eyes. Wonder if any of the others saw me and Gary sleeping together cosy on the sofa? "Where's the others?"
"In the kitchen eating... do you have a good sleep?" His face drops a little into a more serious look. What if he saw me kiss Gary last night? I'm a middle aged man who's acting like a teenager for god's sake.
"Erm...n...not so good... don't feel well..." Stumbling to my feet i go to the hallway slipping my shoes back on and securing my coat under my arm before opening the front door.
"Rob?" A voice calls behind me just as i set foot outside. Tilting my head over my left shoulder i see Gary walking down the hall carrying a mug. "Where are you going?" He asks raising his eyebrow sipping from his coffee mug.
"I...er... don't feel well... thank you for last night... i'll text you tomorrow?" I continue to walk down his path feeling my heart race again the flutters have come back just by seeing him.
"Rob wait... i need to talk to you." Gary fixes his eyes onto mine making me even more nervous. He hates me doesn't he?
"G...Gar...Gary... i... i've got to go.....sorry." Not sticking around any longer i quickly leave his house.
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Once i've changed into something more comfortable just a pair of jogging bottoms and vest i order a take away. Tonight i don't feel like cooking or going out i need time to get my head together before going back in the studio with the boys.

Feeling more relaxed i switch the tv on resting my feet on my cluttered coffee table. "Fuck all on again." I mutter under my breath. For a minute or two i lay my head backwards against the sofa. What has happened in the past 24hours? I kissed Gary Barlow. On the lips. And now i can't stop thinking about him. He makes me happy i've never been like this before. Sure i've been in love with past girlfriends, but Gary... he's someone different he makes me feel young again since when have i had butterflies before? I've never experienced them not even when i'm about to go on stage. Obviously he's not going to think the same back he was drunk and wouldn't even remember the kiss anyway, so i just need to stop over thinking this.

A knock on the door stops me from my daydream. Finally it's dinner time. Walking to the door i feel for my wallet in my jogger's pocket. "Where's that gone?" I mumble whilst opening the door. "One sec mate i turn around looking for my wallet."
"Looking for this?" Hearing the voice causes me to look up. My jaw drops a little am i dreaming?! Gary smiles holding out my brown leather wallet in front of me.
"G....Gary?" Blinking my eyes a few times i look at him not believing this is all real. He hands me my wallet resting his thumbs in his trouser pockets.
"Found it on the sofa, so i thought i'd come and drop it off for you... can i come in?" Quickly i put my wallet back into my pocket closing the door a little. He can't see the state of this place!
"Erm... it's not decent... er..." My palms become a little sweaty partly from him being here. How did he even know where i live?

Gary shakes his head laughing a little. "Like i mind. I've lived with you before and the others i just want to talk to you that's all." His charming smile wins me over. How can i turn him away? Taking a few steps backwards i let him in breathing in a deep breath once he steps inside. Suddenly his face drops into a more worried look as he looks around the flat.
"How long have you lived here for Rob?" Stepping over piles of clothes he makes his way over to the sofa moving a few things, so he can sit down. Biting my tongue a little i close the door walking over to the kitchen area.
"Only a few weeks..." I lie. I've lived here for the past 6 months i just haven't cared enough to sort it out i'm surprised i even managed to get out of bed in the morning. "Want a drink?"
"No thanks..." Gary clears his throat playing with his fingers a little. He only does that when somethings on his mind.
"Anything to eat? I ordered a take away it should be here shortly."
"Rob...sit down..." Gary looks at me. Shit. This doesn't sound good.

"O...ok..." Swallowing hard i walk over to the empty seat beside Gary on the sofa. Patting my hands a little on my knees to reduce the stress my eyes slowly meet his.
"Why do you feel so edgy around me Rob? I thought we put things aside?" He runs his hand through his hair causing it to fluff up a little. Painting on a smile i look at him.
"I'm sorry Gaz... i'm... i'm just so happy we're together... i mean... the band... i'm just happy the band is together." Well done Williams make a fool of yourself.
"Is that all? You can talk to me about anything if you want? Anything running through your mind?" He places a single hand onto my shoulder making butterflies form in my stomach again. My breathing increases again why does he have such a strong effect on me? "Rob? You're burning up?? Please tell me?"
Taking small deep breathes i wipe the sweat from my brow. "G...Gaz...er...Gary...i... think... i think i'm-" Another knock sounds on the door saving me from my confession. Jumping out of my seat i stand to my feet smiling thankful for the knock. "I'm hungry. Sorry... for worrying you... i haven't eaten all day, so i've been dying for this take away." Taking my wallet out from my pocket again i go to the door receiving my bag containing the take away which i pay for.

"Want some?" I ask smiling as i walk into the kitchen.
"S...Sure... always love a good curry me." He gives me a friendly smile still twitching his thumbs together. Grabbing some plates from the bare cupboards i begin sharing out the Chinese. "Rob?" Unexpectedly Gary appears behind me making me flinch.
"Almost done. Want a drink it looks spicy." I the curry from suck my thumb not turning around.
"I need to say something."
"There's some glasses in the bottom cupboard." Trying to avoid the conversation i ignore him.
"Why did you kiss me?"

Hearing those words makes my body freeze. Completely. It feels like i've stepped outside in Switzerland. "H...Here..." I hand him the plate containing the Chinese. Walking back into the living room i sit back down with my plate on lap. Did i hear right? This can't be happening. We've only just made up we can't start arguing again. After a few minutes Gary finally walks back into the room sitting beside me starting to eat. We sit in silence the only sound is the noise of the cutlery making contact with the plates. "Sorry..." Muttering under my breath i avoid eye contact.
Feeling his eyes burn on the side of my head i continue to eat giving me an excuse not to look at him. "Are you going to explain?" If only i could say it was because of the drink. "I wasn't that drunk Rob i didn't imagine it."
"I....I was.... i was just happy... i'm sorry."
"Look at me." His voice sounds much quieter and calmer. Ignoring him again my eyes remain focused on my half empty plate. "Rob. Look at me." He places a finger under my chin bringing my eyes to meet his. We stare at one another. I haven't seen such beautiful looking eyes before. It feels like the butterflies are exploding inside of me now whilst i study his face. Those thin pink lips scream to me to make contact with one anothers. Starting to panic a little i can't keep my eyes off him. The feelings for Gary have grown even more now. "Robbie? What is it?" Gary asks looking even more worried and concerned about me.

My actions take over causing me to push my lips against his for around 4 seconds until Gary pulls away. "Rob! What the fuck?!"
Shit! What did i do that for? I've truly fucked things up now. For god sake why did i do that?! "Oh... god... G...Gary... i... i'm so... so sorry..." My hands begin to shake feeling like a rabbit in head lights. This can't be happening am i asleep?
"Calm down!" Gary places both of his hands onto my face trying to stop me from freaking out. The only thing i'm worried about is loosing Gary as a friend, and i'm pretty sure i've done it now.
"I...I'm... oh god... so...so sorry... oh..." Breathing faster i feel sick. "You hate me. Don't you? I'm sorry Gary so sorry i-" Forcefully Gary makes contact with my lips stopping me from talking. His hands remain on my face whilst his eyes are closed focused on the kiss. Is this real? Instantly my arms wrap around the back of his neck as my eyes slowly close. The butterflies leave my stomach, but are soon replaced by fireworks... exploding fireworks.

Chapter 3

Practising my smile in the mirror whilst i get dressed i can't help but to stare at myself. Who am i kidding? Look at me, i'm a middle aged man who's going out with the people i haven't been with for about 15 years. They've re formed and got to know one another all over again. Maybe i should just drop it now they're better without me. Gary invited me and the boys round his house tonight for a get together doing a bit of writing here and there. I'm not good at sticking to one thing, so how can i concentrate on being in a studio pretty much everyday? It's going to be harder than writing alone. Being solo means i decide when and if i want to go in the studio...being in a band means there's four other voices deciding. A buzzing sound snaps me from my daze. My phone vibrates on the table i take a deep breath before picking it up. "Hello?"
"Hiya Rob!" I'm greeted by Mark's cheerful voice on the other end of the phone. How do i tell him? That once again i'm letting not only myself, but the four of them down too. "I was wondering when you're getting down here? Are you ok with the directions?"
"I can't do this..." Swallowing hard i hold back the tears. I'm just a big let down. Why did they even bother speaking to me again after all i've done to them? "I'm sorry Mark..."
"Huh? We're only going to be sat round Gary's he's bought food and drinks in for us all."
"I mean.. the band Mark... i can't do it... i'm just going to let you all down again."
There's silence for a couple of seconds on the other end of the phone. "Are you busy? Can't you fit it around your schedule?"
"No..it's not that...."
"It'll take about 30 days to write this record... which means 30 days of you being in the studio with us..."
"I...I know... i mean was there any point of me coming back? You all seem to be getting along great together and with me coming back then... i guess i'm just going to be the extra piece... a good sum of the Take That fans won't want me back after what happened will they?"
"Rob... that was the past what happened in the past stays in the past. We have loyal fans surly they would of been expecting this, and who wouldn't want the old band back together having fun again... honestly do you want to do it Rob? Not thinking about us or the fans, but do you personally want to do it?" He has a point... a good point indeed. Mark's always been good with words speaking sense he gives me confidence i need.

"Y...Yeah i want to do it..."
"Have you got 30 days spare? Of you being in the studio."
"Y...Yeah i've got 30 days spare." Clearly my throat a little a take another look at myself seeing if i'm ready and good enough.
"Great let's do it then! I'll see you soon." Mark's voice lightens up again. He truly is one of the best friend's i've ever had. Can't say a bad word about him.
"See you later..." We both hang up i grab my coat using my mobile to dial a taxi. I'm ready.
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The taxi drops me outside of Gary's house. I kind of expected it to look like this. His house is huge hiding behind two electronic metal gates. Pressing my finger on the bell which is fixed to the wall's post a voice speaks. "Hello?" A strong Mancunian voice answers.
"Hiya Gaz it's Rob." Smiling to myself once i hear his voice.
"Ayup mate! Come up." The gates slowly come open enough for me to walk through. Taking my time i walk up his path to his front door, the wind blows in my face causing my hair to stick up a little almost like Jedward's. He has such a beautiful house wish i lived here instead of my crappy little flat where i can hardly move... Before i get chance to knock the door comes open. Gary stands in front of me with his typical half smile spread on his face. "Good evening sir."
"Mr Barlow." I smile walking a little closer. Gary stretches his arms out once i reach the doorstep pulling me into a friendly hug. Returning the hug i rest my chest against his shoulder smelling his after shave. We hug each other for a couple of minutes and for some reason i didn't want it to end. For the first time in ages i felt warm...i felt safe. Slowly Gary slides his arms away from my contact standing against his door a little to let me in. "Are the others here?" I ask taking off my coat and shoes. There's some chatter coming from the living room area, but that could just be the tv.

"Ah yes... Markie arrived first of course... Doug and Jay haven't been here that long." Gary closes his front door and hangs up my coat. He guides me to his living room past all the framed golden records on the wall. I didn't think the band had so many! I've never really seen them before it's been that long. "We've got a visitor."
As soon as i enter the room all eyes are on me. "Rob!" Mark grins with a wine glass clenched in his fist.
"Hiya mate."
"What happened?" Howard asks whilst i make my way over to one of the empty sofas.
"To my hair? I don't know." Laughing a little as i sit down. The smell of food coming from the kitchen swirls around my nostrils making my stomach rumble. I haven't eaten all day.
"I think it rocks." Jason grins giving me a little wink whilst pouring himself yet another strong alcoholic drink. Sadly i can't join in with the drinking party like the other lads. I'm a recovering alcoholic who hasn't had a drink for around 10 years and i'm not going to change that.
"Thanks man."
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After a couple hours of the lads drinking sending me into a hyper state with them it's clear to say they're pretty much off their heads. Well Mark especially. "WE'RE OFF OUR FUCKING HEADS SHIT AAAHH" We all shout bursting into fits of laughter. We did start writing for a few minutes the only line we thought of was although no one understood we were holding back the flood. Jason's fallen asleep on the sofa his mouth parted and the half poured wine still in his glass which remains in his hand. Howard started to do some break dancing... he got the break right after smashing one of Gary's photo frames which contained him and Elton arm in arm back in the 90's. After a good telling off by a tipsy Gary, Howard crashed out on the floor beside the sofa Jason is asleep. Mark lays face first curled up at the corner of the sofa snoring.

That left me and Gary. "Tonight's been ace Gaz!" I take a handful of Minsterals which are in a bowl on the coffee table in front of me.
"Sure has... glad you decided to come round Rob... wouldn't of been the same without you." Gary pats my shoulder his eyes are a little red from tiredness and alcohol. "I've missed this..." He looks around his messy living room smiling at each of us.
"Me too... i haven't laughed this much in ages... and being with you guys have brought the fun back into my life again." Giving a cheesy smile at Gary i can't help but stare a little. What a good looking man. I'm not surprised millions gay and straight have fallen for him.
"N'arwww you big softy." Tightly he pulls me into a hug hiccuping in my ear at the same time. "Whoops." I brush my finger tips against his back during the hug causing him to sigh happily. Once we let go again capturing eye contact for a couple of seconds.

Loud snores from the end of the room stops our little daze. "Bloody 'ell Marko." Gary laughs falling against me a little.
"How can someone so small make so much noise??" Giggling a little i wrap my arm around Gary's shoulder allowing him to rest against my chest. "Want a coffee, Gaz?" Looking down at the head resting on my chest i notice his eyes have closed. "Gaz?" He doesn't move instead he begins to snore softly. Smiling to myself i lay flat on the sofa letting him become comfier using my chest as pillow. He snuggles up to me rubbing his cheek against my chest snoring. "Night Gaz..." My hand gently rakes through his fluffy blond hair making it a little messier. For a moment i feel different... i feel happy for the first time in years almost like i found the light at the end of my dark tunnel. What is this light? Studying Gary's face i stroke his stubbled cheek where a faint smile forms at the corners of his mouth.  Never in all my life have i been this close to Gary Barlow we've fallen out for years, and now he's asleep on my chest. Gently i press my lips against his forehead which sends electrical signals through my whole body. That felt good. Really good. Unable to control my actions i move to his lips barely making contact with one anothers we slightly brush together which increases my heart rate. Tasting the remaining alcohol from his lips. Abruptly i pull away as far away from his face as possible. Did i just kiss him? Why did i just kiss him?! Could it be? Is.... Gary Barlow the light to my tunnel?

Chapter 2

Some circus acts appear on the dvd making me laugh when the guy pops out of the balloon. "Remember that, Mark?" Howard chuckles looking in Mark's direction.

"Shrup." Mark tries to ignore him focusing his eyes on the tv only.

"What happened?" I ask sounding confused, but also interested in the story. It's all starting to feel a much more relaxed atmosphere being in a room together after all these years.

"Well when we was in rehearsals... we found one of those giant balloons things back stage, so we made Mark get in... once we blew it up he couldn't get out again!" Howard bursts into laughter followed by Jason and Gary. "He was curled inside too short to push his head through!" Unable to control my laughter i join the rest of the lads. Gary holds onto my leg wiping his eyes from laughing.

"It was like playing pin ball! Mark was trying to get out and we was rolling him to one another! We love you really Marko." Gary giggles at a sulking Mark across the room. I sort of feel bad for laughing, but i sure wish i was there to enjoy the fun!

"You're all mean!" Mark tries to act serious, but fails falling around laughing instead.

We  continue watching the dvd i'm completely hypnotised by it saying "oooh!" and "Wow's" When they appear from behind the balloons like magic! Out the corner of my eye i notice the others studying my face, but i choose to ignore it. After about 30 minutes into the dvd Mark finally breaks the silence. "This is great this is..." Happily he sighs with a smile on his face.

"Only, because this is your part!" Jason points to the tv showing Mark in white with red shoes on performing 'Shine'.

"Noo not the DVD. I'm talking about us... the five of us all sat here enjoying ourselves... who would thought it? I mean look at the pair of you." Mark grins in mine and Gary's direction. Me and Gary look at one another for a second or two.

"I agree... i've missed this..." Gary adds still looking at me a little making me slightly nervous, but also extremely happy to hear those words leave his mouth.
"How do you feel about it Rob?" Howard sits up on the sofa turning the volume down a little on the tv.
Playing with my fingers a little i collect my thoughts. "I love it... i never dreamt it would be like this... lads... i've said some terrible things about you all... especially about Gaz... it probably wont mean anything, but i apologise from the bottom of my heart... none of you deserved any of that." Glancing down at my lap i bow my head feeling awful. An arm wraps around my shoulder squeezing it a little.

"Ay... i don't blame you for acting the way you did. We were all hurting and the way i acted the first time around in the band i don't blame you for hitting out the way you did. You all should of been noticed more i just wanted to be the centre of attention... i mean who doesn't? I don't know how much Mark's told you about me this time around, but things have changed i've grown up a lot we all have. We'll apart from Mark." Gary jokes giggling at Mark who just pouts back. "But seriously things are much better and a lot more fun... Can you imagine how crazy the world will go if we walk out as  a five piece? No more newspapers talking bullshit about us, and it will all be real. I don't want you to disappear Rob..." Gary tightens the grip around my shoulder a little.

"I don't know what to say... you're a great man Gary Barlow... you all are... and i can't thank you enough for forgiving me like that... i was a bastard... for making shit and jokes for attention, and it worked, but i wasn't happy... and just wanted to hurt you the way i was hurting. There's nothing more i want than to have you guys back in my life... " My eyes well up a little looking at each of the boys sitting on the sofas.
"I think this calls for one of our group hugs..." Jason suggests standing to his feet with his arms open. We all laugh also standing up before wrapping our arms around one another.

"Who are we? TAAAAKE THAAAT!" We all raise our hands together laughing away. I don't think after all this time i've laughed so much until tonight. Life right now couldn't get any better.

"This is the best feeling in the world... having my four brothers back... it might sound cheesy... but i love you guys." Shyly i smile at them.

"N'arwww you big softie!" Howard playfully punches me in the arm.
"Pile up!!" Mark bounces up and down pushing me on the sofa. Gary jumps on top of me followed by Howard then Jason, and finally Mark.

"Ow... does this mean i'm allowed back?" I chuckle being crushed by the other four boys.

"I think so." Gary winks squeezing me a little underneath him causing us all to fall to a heap in the middle of the room.